If one of your goals is to feel less stressed and overwhelmed, the fastest way to make this a reality is to simplify your life. When it comes to our work, we often want to take on as much as possible. And while this may have served you when you were starting out, it’s not a long-term strategy. So, in this episode, we’re talking all about practicing constraint instead.
So many humans mistakenly believe that the more options we have, the better. We think keeping busy and having numerous tasks on our plate gives us the freedom of choice. However, one of the biggest issues my clients and attorneys in general struggle with is feeling overwhelmed, and the main reason why they’re overwhelmed is they’re not practicing constraint.
If you’re overwhelmed and you’re just over it, tune in this week to discover how practicing constraint allows you to get further, faster. We’re discussing intentionality around the things you consume, the things you create, and how to see exactly what practicing constraint will look like in your professional and personal life.
If you’re interested in taking the coaching topics I discuss on the show a step further, enrollment for the Less Stressed Lawyer Mastermind is officially open. This is a six-month group coaching program where you’ll be surrounded by a community of like-minded individuals from the legal industry, pushing you to become the best possible version of yourself. We kick off with an in-person live event and you can get all the information and apply by clicking here!
If you enjoyed today’s show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know and help others find The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast. Click here for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review!
What You’ll Learn from this Episode:
- Why a lack of constraint in any area of our lives leads to overwhelm.
- How overwhelm shows up and why ignoring or fighting it is never the answer.
- Why practicing constraint will immediately reduce the overwhelm you experience.
- Where to look to discover the areas of your life you need to practice more constraint and simplify your life.
- The importance of being intentional about how you spend your time and pursue your goals.
- Where I’ve constrained and simplified in my own life, so I can show up with a more powerful presence where it matters.
- How to identify and start practicing the kind of constraint that moves you forward, reduces stress, and creates freedom.
Listen to the Full Episode:
Featured on the Show:
- I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know and help others find The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast. Click here for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review
- Episode 4: Comfort Entitlement
- Episode 5: Making Decisions Ahead of Time
- Brooke Castillo
Full Episode Transcript:
You’re listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast, episode 7. We’re talking all about practicing constraint today. You ready? Let’s go.
Welcome to The Less Stressed Lawyer, the only podcast that teaches you how to manage your mind so you can live a life with less stress and far more fulfillment. If you’re a lawyer who’s over the overwhelm and tired of trying to hustle your way to happiness, you’re in the right place. Now, here’s your host, lawyer turned life coach, Olivia Vizachero.
Hello. Welcome back. How are you all doing?
I just got back from my coaching school’s annual Mastermind event, in Austin, that I mentioned last week. My goodness, was it incredible! I can’t say enough about being surrounded by like-minded people who inspire you, and push you to be the best version of yourself. That was definitely my experience last week. I can’t rave about it enough. It’s such an opportunity to create community, bond with my peers, and up-level myself in so many different ways.
Having so recently experienced my own Mastermind experience, that I was a part of, as a client of a coaching school, it’s made me all the more excited than I even was before, to launch my own group coaching program: The Less Stressed Lawyer Mastermind.
Enrollment for that just opened up. It’s a six-months-long group coaching program and it’s going to kick-off with an incredible in-person live event. I absolutely love in-person events. That was so important for me to include when I designed this mastermind. I wanted to give people the opportunity to come together, meet their peers, bond with them, create community, inspire one another, learn from one another. All the things I just got to myself in Austin.
I want to give that to my clients. I designed it to be part of the process. I can’t wait for people to experience it for the first time. It’s going to be incredible. Make sure you stick around to the end of this episode. I’m going to give you the specific details that you need to know, so you can learn all about Less Stressed Lawyer Mastermind and how to enroll in it.
We’ll put a pin in that for a second. Now, I want to turn to today’s topic. It’s another one of my favorites. Today we’re talking all about practicing constraint.
What is “practicing constraint”? Basically, it’s where you create a limitation or a restriction, that you put on yourself. You do this because it simplifies your life. This may look like eliminating or subtracting things from your life. Or, it may look like constricting the choices you give yourself, or the options that you make available, that you have to choose from. You basically just put-up parameters, in certain areas of your life, and you live within those parameters as a means of making your day-to-day life easier.
Why do we want to practice constraint? Simply stated, because it helps us simplify our lives. One of the biggest issues that my clients and other attorneys, as well… One of the biggest issues they struggle with is feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelm is often caused by a lack of constraint. You see, we mistakenly believe that having options is amazing. Like, the more options we have, the better. We love thinking that we love having options.
That’s actually a thought error. Because having too many options or having too many things to do, leads to overwhelm. Oftentimes, it causes confusion. We don’t know where to get started. We don’t know what to focus on first. Were to turn our attention. It leads to a sense of overwhelm. It’s not as ideal as we tend to think that it is.
When we have a lack of constraint or we fail to practice constraint, we tend to feel overwhelmed. This tends to be a problem. What’s the problem with feeling overwhelmed? Well, first and foremost, it just feels uncomfortable, right? Who likes to feel overwhelmed? Experiencing that feeling is, in and of itself, unpleasant. If one of the reasons you’re tuning in to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast is to feel better on a daily basis, if that’s one of your goals, one of the fastest ways to accomplish that goal is to reduce the extent of the overwhelm that you experience.
Also, take a second and think about how you show up when you feel overwhelmed. You tend to do one of three things: You either resist it, avoid it, or, react to it.
When you resist feeling overwhelmed and you pretend it isn’t there, first of all, it ends up bubbling to the surface later. Because, what we resist, always persists. I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s so true. Also, resisting or bracing against negative emotions, like overwhelm, is exhausting. Think about how tired your arms get if you hold a beach ball underwater. You’ve got that resistance coming up. That beach ball wants to pop-up to the surface, so it requires a lot of your effort to keep it pressed down, submerged, under the surface of the water.
Another example of this, imagine carrying an hors d’oeuvres platter around at a party. I did this one time to help a friend out of a jam. She worked for a fine dining establishment. This was when we were a lot younger. She asked me to be a cater waiter at the cocktail reception of a wine tasting event, a wine auction. I had to walk around all night long with an hors d’oeuvres platter. It looks super easy, right? How hard can it be?
But you have your arms extended, sort of at a ninety-degree angle, so that tray can be right in front of you, you can offer it to the guests. It doesn’t look like it’s going to be as heavy as it is, but as twenty minutes, thirty minutes, forty minutes, an hour goes by, it starts to get heavier and heavier. You start to notice it and it becomes really grueling to keep your arms in that position and to continue to hold it upright. You want to drop the platter. Or, at least, I did.
Again, it requires a lot of effort. It ends up being much more exhausting, much more of a strain. In that sense, it was a physical strain. When we resist negative emotions, emotions like overwhelm, it becomes emotionally straining, emotionally taxing. Tiring, so to speak. Resisting negative emotions, like overwhelm, will make us feel emotionally exhausted.
When we avoid overwhelm, what we do, is we either distract ourselves by doing anything else that brings us that instant gratification or that temporary pleasure and we don’t accomplish what matters most. Maybe we procrastinate when we do this. Or we sort of spin in the overwhelm and we don’t take any action. We slip into paralysis and shut down. All of that slows us down. It prevents us from getting further, faster when we avoid.
Sometimes we react to feeling overwhelmed. If you’ve ever felt like you were overwhelmed and you ran around like a chicken with your head cut off, taking a really reactive approach instead of a proactive approach, to whatever it is you want to do… You’re reacting to the overwhelm. You know when you react in that manner, it doesn’t create the desired results. You might hit the low-lying fruit instead of focusing on the thing that really moves the dial. You’re not being intentional with how you spend your time and with the action that you take.
Reacting in that way is not going to help you accomplish the goals that you’ve set out to accomplish. Ultimately, whether you are resisting, avoiding, or reacting to overwhelm, responding to overwhelm in any of these ways, keeps you from doing your most meaningful work. If you’re experiencing overwhelm, and you’re totally over it, you’re going to want to master the art of practicing constraint. Alright? That’s what we’re talking about today.
Just like I’ve done in some of the other episodes, I’m going to give you several examples of what this looks like in practice so you can take inspiration from those examples, and come up with different ways you can practice constraint in your own life, in order to simplify your life.
Before I do that, though, I want to explain one more thing. Practicing constraint is going to look a lot like making decisions ahead of time, which I discussed in Episode 5 of the podcast. Making decisions ahead of time and practicing constraint are two different concepts. They work in tandem, but they aren’t identical.
Constraint focuses on limiting your options. Creating those parameters that you proceed to operate within. You can make a decision ahead of time about the ways you will constrain, how you will constrain, what you will constrain to. Then, you follow through that decision ahead of time, by practicing constraint. Constraint is a little different. Again, it goes back to creating those parameters, setting those limitations for yourself. They’re similar, but they aren’t identical.
With that said, let’s go through some examples on how to practice constraint. In the broadest sense, there are tons of ways that you can practice constraint. You can practice it when it comes to what you do, when you do it, what you give your attention to, what you consume. The options you allow yourself to have. The goals you pursue. There are so many different areas in which you practice this concept.
As far as examples go, I’m going to start with discussing the practice of constraint as it relates to constraining what you consume. I think this is such an important area in which to practice constraint because we spend so much of our time in consumption mode. Ask yourself; what am I consuming right now? I don’t mean “right now” as in the second that you’re listening to this podcast. That’s exactly what you’re consuming right now, right? What I mean is, in this season of your life, what are you consuming?
Do a quick audit, take an inventory. What do you listen to? What do you consume? Where do you get your information? What goes through those ears of yours, or your eyeballs? What goes into that brain of yours? What information are you taking in? Where do you get it? Is that information positive or negative? Do that audit and think about the news that you consume; the TV that you consume; movies; sources of entertainment; podcasts. What do you consume on social media? Who do you listen to; public figures, friends, family members? All of those sources. Who do you have conversations with? Maybe it’s co-workers, colleagues, other people in your industry.
Are these sources positive or negative sources? If you aren’t sure if they’re positive or negative, ask yourself, how do you feel when you interact with these sources of information? When you consume from them or when you engage with them, is it a positive feeling or a negative feeling? Do you feel more discouraged? Do you feel more worried or anxious? Stressed? Overwhelmed? Defeated? Maybe angry? Maybe righteous? Outraged? Emotions like that. If you’re consuming information from sources and you find yourself emotionally worked up, emotionally charged so to speak, you want to take note of that.
If you’re more inclined to experience negative emotions, after you consume information from these sources, it’s going to be a negative input for you. That consumption is going to have a negative effect, a negative impact. You’re going to want to limit that consumption as much as possible. One of the tricks I’ve learned, is that I tend to have a more negative response from watching TV news as supposed to consuming my news in print format. So, I switched to print. I constrain my news choices to print sources.
I also noticed that if I’m watching too much news, I’ll be a little overly negative, more so than I am normally. I’ll constrain with how much news I consume: When I check it, what times of the day I check it, what sources I check. Some don’t cause me to have a significant emotional response as others do. I will also make a decision to counterbalance if I’m consuming news. I’ll want to consume something that’s a little bit more positive because news tends to want to startle you, worry you. So, you continue to consume it; worry tends to beget more worry.
That’s done intentionally by news organizations. I’m really conscious of this. I know it’s not going to be a positive consumption source for me, so I’ll counterbalance it with something that puts me in a better mood. Makes me feel more motivated, more positive, things like that.
You also want to take inventory with who you engage with or converse with. Are those people negative? One of the things that I started to realize, when I found coaching and started to adopt the coaching principles that I’m teaching you through the course of this podcast, is that a lot of people in my life were really negative. They had a negative outlook on the world. They complained a lot. I used to be one of those people.
A lot of the conversations I had were complaintive conversations. I call those “zero-dollar conversations” now because they really don’t get you anywhere. A lot of people dwell, they rehash things, they live in the past, they focus on what they can’t control, and they tend to argue with it. All of that tends to be really negative.
If you’re listening to other people complain… If you’re listening to them sit in their own victimhood, that’s not going to be useful for you. I like to tell people, “You want to focus on solutions, not on problems.” If people in your life are focused on the problems that they’re facing, and they’re not being resourceful, they’re not solutions oriented, you might find that is a negative consumption source for you. You will probably want to practice constraint and reduce, or all together, eliminate your exposure to that source of information or engagement.
This applies even to those sources that are closest to you, the people who are in your inner circle. You might find that they are negative. You might want to constrain how much you interact with them. How you interact with them, what you talk about, things like that.
Even if it’s not inherently negative, you want to ask yourself, “Is what I’m consuming supporting or hindering my long-term goals?” Think about this in terms of consuming educational content versus content that is purely for your own entertainment.
What’s your split like? Is it 50/50? Or do you consume entertainment much more than educational content? If your split is uneven, you’re going to want to get that closer to 50/50 or have the bigger focus be on educational content. That’s going to support your growth and help you uplevel, help you work towards and accomplish the goals you’ve set for yourself. As opposed to keeping you stagnant, maintaining that status quo.
When we focus on entertainment versus education, we tend to stay stuck. Ask yourself, “What’s my split like?” You many need to constrain some of the entertainment you consume.
Who do you take your advice from? I’ve got a rule in my life: I only take advice from experts. Only certain experts, at that. I actually have a rule about this. I never take advice from people who haven’t done what I want to do. I highly encourage you to adopt the same rule for yourself. Practice constraint in that way when it comes to receiving other people’s inputs. Stick with the experts, only. Maybe you’ll want to constrain two specific experts, at that. That’s what I do.
I don’t listen to everyone. Sometimes, experts have competing viewpoints. That can lead to a ton of confusion. I constrain the specific experts I listen to, I listen only to them, and I follow through with what they teach, what they advise. And I apply it. It really streamlines my goal accomplishment. I’m able to implement so much faster because I reduce confusion by practicing constraint, in this way.
One of my coaches, Brooke Castillo, also teaches constraining to doing one course at a time. If you are a chronic consumer, and like to buy a lot of different things, invest in a lot of different programs, surround yourself or immerse yourself with a bunch of different resources, but you never seem to complete a program, or follow through to the finish line, you may want to practice constraint in that way. Do one thing at a time until you reach the end. Until you complete the process. Then, you can give yourself permission to move on to the next one.
Another question you can ask yourself, when it comes to practice constraint, is how much do you consume versus create? Again, it’s sort of like the education versus entertainment question; if you’re split is way out of whack, you can practice constraint here, too. You want to make sure your consumption versus creation split is at least 50/50. That you’re in creation mode the same amount of time, preferably more, that you’re in consumption mode.
Consuming will always be more comfortable than creating. That’s really important for you to remember. It’s because consuming requires less of you. The problem here, though, is that it’s not going to get you to where you want to go. Ultimately, the only way for you to get the results you want in your life, is to be in creation mode. The more time you spend in creation mode, the better. You want to constrain how much you consume, and what exactly, you consume.
I’ve done this in my own life. I used to be a chronic consumer when it came to podcasts. I could not listen to enough of them. I just consumed, consumed, consumed, consumed. Finally, I realized I wasn’t taking any action. It was so much safer to keep learning from other people. I kept telling myself I wasn’t ready to take action, yet. I just kept playing it safe.
When I finally became aware that I was engaged in this bad consumption habit, I pumped the brakes on all the consuming. I constrained to what podcasts I would listen to, when I would listen to them, and the rest of my time I then devoted to creating in my own business. I started putting out my own content. I started taking more intentional action to create my desired results. If you have a bad habit of consuming way more than you create, I highly recommend you practice constraint in this way.
When it comes to work, a great way to practice constraint here, is with the type of law you practice or the services you provide. People love to be a jack/jill of all trades. They love casting a wide net because they slip into scarcity mindset when it comes to generating business. They worry they’re going to leave money on the table by constraining. That’s not the case at all.
If you want to build your expertise in a particular area, or build your reputation in a particular area, constraining your offer is a game changer. Think about it this way, if you’re new to practicing criminal defense and you want to gain a ton of experience, rather than focusing on all felonies and misdemeanors, if you constrain to one particular area… maybe drunk driving cases or assaultive crimes or drug possession cases, things like that.
You’re going to get so much experience, in that particular area, so much faster. It will help you increase your self-confidence and self-concept in that area of expertise. You’ll also become known for practicing that type of law faster, by the people in your network. They’ll be able to refer you more business in the area that you’re already an expert in. It makes everything about your practice simpler.
You could also do this with the industries that you serve. If you do transactional work… Focus on constraining to a particular sector, or section of the industry. Maybe you only work with start-up companies, or you only work with cosmetic companies that are start-ups, that’s very specific. Super niche. Constraining in that way, your name is going to become more well-known throughout that industry. You’re going to be seen as an expert in that area. You’re going to get further, faster, when you constrain in that way.
Another way you could constrain is in how you accept payment. I worked for people in the past, when I was still practicing law, where we took payment in any way you wanted to pay us. That might seem intuitive, but it’s really not. It doesn’t support your success. You might be scrambling to accept in-person payments. You go meet clients in person. Your record-keeping system ends up being cumbersome and overly complicated. If you practice constraint, rather than accepting payments in a million different ways, you can just accept them in one way.
Streamline the process. Make it easy on yourself and for your clients. Make it repeatable. It will also make record-keeping a breeze. See how when you practice constraint it simplifies everything? That’s exactly what I’m talking about here. You can only take meetings or calls at certain times of the day. Or, on certain days. That’s another way to practice constraint. You free up your other time for doing your most meaningful, substantive work. The stuff that really requires your full focus, energy, and mental capacity.
You can constrain when it comes to checking your email. I think I mentioned that in the “Making Decisions Ahead of Time” episode. Most people spend their day bouncing back-and-forth between the work that they’re working on and their inbox. When we do that, we slow ourselves down. Multi-tasking is not efficient or productive. You can constrain when it comes to checking your email in order to streamline your work, and be more productive during the hours you’re working.
You can also constrain the hours that you work. If you tell yourself that you will work weekends, if you “need” to, you will end up working them. I promise. Same thing goes with evenings. If you leave that as a stop-gap or an overflow area, you will fill it. I call this “scope-creep.” If you constrain to, “I only work nine-to-five, or ten-to-six, or ten-to-five, or ten-to-four,” whatever it is that you choose. If you constrain to those hours, you’re going to be more efficient and make better use of your time. You will take as long as you give yourself to get the work done. You can constrain in that way, too.
I also love constraining when it comes to my calendar. I only use one calendar. I used to use multiple calendars; one for my personal life, one for work, things like that. Now I just constrain to one. I do this because it simplifies my life so much. Everything syncs. Everything is in one place. I don’t have to check multiple sources in order to figure out whether I have a conflict, or not. Everything is always accurate. It’s all in one place and it’s up to date.
Another awesome area to practice constraint are the social media platforms that you choose to market yourself on. I do this. There are so many different platforms available to us, but when it’s just you, it’s hard to show up everywhere. If you attempt to do that, you dilute your efforts. I’d rather have you be in one place, ubiquitously, versus trying to be everywhere but showing up nowhere because you show up infrequently.
I constrain to two platforms: LinkedIn and Instagram. There are plenty of others. I just constrain to those two so I can show up with a more significant presence. It’s a great way to get faster results on the platforms you do choose to show up on.
Speaking of marketing, I also constrain with the actions that I take as part of my marketing efforts. As you’re working to develop your own book of business this is something you can do, too. Rather than trying to do all the things, and not doing any of them well or consistently, you can constrain to doing a few things and doing them well. For me, in the very beginning, I only posted on social media. Then I added my monthly webinar series. Once I did that consistently, and it felt dialed in, I added a weekly email that I send out on Fridays. That’s a little inspiration right to your inbox.
Finally, once that all felt dialed in, I chose to add the podcast. I’ve wanted to the podcast for a long time, but I was practicing constraint so I could get really good at what I was already doing. I only added a new thing once everything else felt mastered and dialed in. That’s another way you can practice constraint when it comes to business development.
Another important area to practice constraint is when it comes to setting and working towards goals. You want to focus on no more than three goals at a time. You can break this up into two different categories if you want to: three short-term goals and three-long term goals. It does not have to be three, it should just be no more than three. Sometimes, I only like to constrain to one goal at a time because I know that practicing constraint, in that way, I’m going to see more progress in a shorter amount of time.
When you’re working towards fifteen goals, all at the same time, chances are you’re going to get really discouraged because you’re only able to devote so much time and energy to each one. Your progress is going to be slow. You’re not going to see that you’re making much headway, and it’s going to be easy to get impatient, feel discouraged or defeated, and slow down or ultimately quit.
If you want to motivate yourself, you’ll want to constrain and you’ll see success a lot faster. You’ll be more encouraged to take massive action towards accomplishing those goals. Once you accomplish one, you can move on to the next one, and so on and so forth. This is a great area in which to practice constraint
A couple of other areas to practice constraint in your personal life… These are some examples that I’ve come up with that I practice myself. What stores do you shop from? It makes clothing shopping so easy if you constrain, “I only shop in these places. I know that they’re going to have what I like.” You only go there.
Dinner reservations is another great example of this. If friends are trying to make plans, I just constrain; I don’t need to micromanage what it is they are going to choose. I just tell them, “Go to Yelp if it’s; Italian, a steakhouse, tacos, or American prends-nous. If it’s four stars or higher, I’ll love. I don’t need to look at the menu. I trust you implicitly.” When I constrain that way, it makes it so much easier to select.
This is also why you’ll see on interior design shows they’ll give the homeowners three options to choose from. They practice constraint with the options they make available to them, so they’re not overwhelmed with all the different design choices.
I do this when I make dinner plans for friends of mine, too. I will select three, or so, restaurants and I’ll send them those options to choose from. It just makes everything easier. It really reduces the overwhelm and the spinning.
Another area that I practice constraint is the airline I fly. I live in Detroit, and we have a Delta Airlines hub here, so I always fly Delta. I don’t need to go to different websites and compare/contrast rates. I just go straight to my Delta app. It makes making travel arrangements super simple.
I also constrain when it comes to travel websites. When I’m booking hotels. There are so many different options out there available to us. I’m sure plenty of them are great, I just don’t like to spin in the overwhelm and indecision that comes from having too many options. I only use Booking.com, HotelTonight, or I book directly through the hotel website. Those are the three options that I give myself.
Another great way… and I talked about this in “Making Decisions Ahead of Time,” people hate making decisions when it comes to what they’re going to eat. You can constrain, substantially, when it comes to what you eat at specific meals, when you eat them. One of my rules, during the weeknights for dinner, is to keep it simple, protein and a vegetable. I can grill that, I can use my air fryer, I can sauté something, roast it, any of those options. But it’s going to be a vegetable and a protein. That simple. That’s a great way to practice constraint and reduce the overwhelm or decision fatigue.
Those are plenty of examples to get your gears moving. To get you to start thinking of how you can practice constraint, in your own life, in order to overcome the overwhelm that you experience and make your life simpler.
Practicing constraint might sound easy-peasy, but people really struggle with this concept when they go out and try to put it into practice. Let’s discuss the obstacle you encounter when you try to practice constraint.
You guys can’t see me right now because, obviously, this is an audio format; it’s a podcast. But I just said “try” in air quotes. The reason I did that, first and foremost, is I absolutely hate that word. You’ll hear me say that time and time again, and explain why, throughout the course of this podcast. Ultimately, trying just means not doing. That being said, when you go to practice constraint, here are some of the obstacles you may encounter that cause you to simply try and not do, because you abandoned your efforts to constrain, and you don’t follow through with practicing it.
Obstacle number one: The negative thoughts that you have about practicing constraint. When I use the word “constraint” with my clients, I see them cringe. They think that it is the worst. They think thoughts like, “It’s hard.” That they’re being controlled. That they’re limited. That it’s restrictive. They just don’t like the sound of it. They have a negative association with the concept of “constraint.” If you think about constraint in this way, you will not do it because those thoughts are going to make practicing constraint too uncomfortable.
That’s the other obstacle when it comes to practicing constraint. Your discomfort avoidance. You aren’t going to want to feel those negative feelings that come from the negative thoughts that you think about practicing constraint. Negative feelings like; feeling constrained, feeling controlled, restricted, maybe bored, limited, deprived. Or I know this doesn’t sound like an emotion, but I’ve decided that it is one, you’re going to feel that sense of “FOMO,” right, the fear of missing out.
When you think about experiencing any of that discomfort, it sounds too awful, so you don’t practice constraint. That’s your comfort entitlement making an appearance again. I talked about that in Episode 4.
In order to practice constraint and the reap the benefits of practicing it, you’re going to have to do two things. You’re going to have to change the way you think about constraint. And, you’re going to have to allow yourself to feel the negative emotions that come up for you, when you practice it.
I want to offer you… You can choose to think about practicing constraint as; the more you constrain, the more freedom you have in your life. That’s how I think of constraint. I equate constraint with freedom. I think of it as a gift I give myself. It’s the best thing I can do in order to create the life that I want. I know that constraining sets me up for success. If that feels like a stretch for you, I want you… You can re-wind that part of the podcast and go back through to ask yourself, “How might that be true?” “How might Olivia be right about that? That constraint equals freedom. That it leads to success. That it supports the vision I have for my life. How might that be accurate?”
You also must allow yourself to feel negative emotions like; feeling constrained, feeling controlled, restricted, bored, limited, deprived. That sense of FOMO. Yeah, there’s going to be some FOMO, and some deprivation, and maybe, some boredom by constraining your options. That’s okay, you can survive those negative emotions. I’ve talked to you guys about that before.
Allowing yourself to experience those emotions is how you get further, faster. That will always be the case. It might require some sacrifice. You might have to feel uncomfortable, that’s okay.
Also, always be sure to remind yourself that FOMO is actually, a lie. You think you’re missing out on the options that you’ve eliminated. That you’ve set outside of the parameters you’ve set for yourself. That isn’t accurate. The truth is, you miss out either way. You miss out if you constrain and you miss out if you don’t.
If you don’t constrain, you don’t focus on what matters the most to you. You miss out on experiencing those things, the ones that matter the most. You miss out on the progress you would’ve gained had you practice constraint, and focused all your energy and efforts on one thing in particular. You’re missing out either way. I strongly suggest you don’t choose to miss out on the things that matter most because you don’t want to feel deprived or restricted. Practice constraint and make sure you miss out on the unimportant stuff, not on the important stuff.
That’s that, as it relates to practicing constraint. Take a few minutes today and ask yourself, “Where can I practice constraint? Where can I practice constraint when it comes to work? Where can I practice it in my personal life? When it comes to what I do? When I do it? What I consume? What goals I set? How many goals I set? What I focus on?” Where can you practice constraint in your life. And again, if you struggle, just ask yourself, “In what areas would I be able to simplify my life, if I practiced constraint?”
One more thing, nope, two more things. Actually, I lied; three more things. That’s it, I swear. First, I want to say thank you to all of you who have taken time and left me ratings and reviews for the podcast, so far. I appreciate it so, so much. Every so often, I’m going to highlight one of those reviews as a way to say thank you and shout out one of the amazing listeners in the audience.
This week, I want to thank Momof2Ewes. That’s the handle this listener used on the Apple Podcasts app. They wrote, “I am loving this new podcast. I can relate and feel like Olivia talking to me. I’m excited to take action and already starting to see a positive shift in my mindset. I feel like there is reduced stress in knowing there is a goal and action plan. I’ve got a long way to go, but finding myself repeating the first three episodes and hearing something new each time.
Such an awesome review! Thank you so much! Honestly, it absolutely means the world to me. Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment.
If you’re enjoying the podcast, it would be so amazing, if you would take a moment to go rate and review the podcast. I would love to know what you think, and let me know if there’s anything that you want to hear. I’d be happy to cover it in a future episode.
In order to give that rating and review, if you want step-by-step instructions for that, just visit www.TheLessStressedLawyer.com/podcastlaunch. It will give you all the details to walk you through how follow, rate, and review.
Lastly, like I promised at the beginning of this episode, if you’re interested in taking coaching concepts, like today’s topic and the other topics I’ve talked about in previous episodes, to the next level and learning to master them… If you’re craving community within the legal industry, you’re going to want to join The Less Stressed Lawyer Mastermind. Enrollment just opened.
You’re going to want to make sure you enroll. The Less Stressed Lawyer Mastermind is the room where big things happen. It’s the room where transformation happens. Where breakthroughs happen. Where inspiration happens. Where community happens. Where support happens. Where bonding happens. Where trust happens. Where belonging happens. And, where thriving happens. It’s also where accomplishing the seemingly impossible, happens. You’re going to want to make sure you’re in that room. You’re in that Mastermind.
How do you secure a seat in that room? Go to www.Mastermind.TheLessStressedLawyer.com and apply now. Make sure you do that. Spots are limited. They’re going on a first-come-first-serve basis. I want to make sure that you make the most of this year and get yourself in that room so you can really thrive in the best way possible.
Alright, my friends, that’s what I got for you this week. I’ll talk to you in the next episode.
Thanks for listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast. If you want more info about Olivia Vizachero or the show’s notes and resources from today’s episode, visit www.TheLessStressedLawyer.com.
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