Episode 8: Defining Enough

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero | Defining Enough

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero | Defining Enough

What is enough? In so many different areas of our life, we don’t define what enough really is for us. Instead, we use vague words to describe our goals and standards. We want to be less stressed, make more money, and have enough free time. But what do those really mean? Well, that’s what we’re defining in this episode.

When we keep things vague, it’s easy to feel like we’re missing the mark, which feels terrible. However, when you can define where the mark is in relation to where you are right now, and what you need to do in order to get there, that’s when real change happens.

Tune in this week to discover what enough means for you. I’m sharing how to start defining what you really want to achieve in your life, getting specific in terms of measurable metrics, and I’m showing you how to deal with the discomfort you will inevitably experience when setting truly quantifiable targets.

 

If you’re interested in taking the coaching topics I discuss on the show a step further, enrollment for the Less Stressed Lawyer Mastermind is officially open. This is a six-month group coaching program where you’ll be surrounded by a community of like-minded individuals from the legal industry, pushing you to become the best possible version of yourself. We kick off with an in-person live event and you can get all the information and apply by clicking here

If you enjoyed today’s show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know and help others find The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast. Click here for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review! 

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why using vague or ambiguous terms to set goals makes them impossible to achieve.
  • The importance of being able to reverse-engineer and track your progress in reaching your goals.
  • Why you might be closer to your desired outcomes than you currently believe you are.
  • How to see where you need to start using measurable metrics to define your version of more, less, and enough.
  • The discomfort so many people experience setting specific goals around money.
  • How to numerically define things like productivity, efficiency, responsiveness, or anything that’s difficult to measure.
  • My tips for setting defined goals and implementing a strategy to get you from where you are now to where you want to be.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You’re listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast, Episode 8. We’re talking all about defining enough. You ready? Let’s go.

Welcome to The Less Stressed Lawyer, the only podcast that teaches you how to manage your mind so you can live a life with less stress and far more fulfillment. If you’re a lawyer who’s over the overwhelm and tired of trying to hustle your way to happiness, you’re in the right place. Now, here’s your host, lawyer turned life coach, Olivia Vizachero.

Hey there! How are you today?

Things are busy over here, but in the best way. In the last episode, I told you a bit about The Less Stressed Lawyer Mastermind that I’ve created, and so much has been going on since I last spoke to you.

I’ve been putting the final touches on the incredible in-person event that kicks off the 6-months Mastermind. It is in this beautifully restored fire house in downtown Detroit. It’s truly magical. I love it there. It’s called the Detroit Foundation Hotel.

I couldn’t be more excited to introduce people to the city of Detroit and to spend time with the Masterminders. There are also two dinners: a Welcome dinner and a Farewell dinner. If you know me personally, you know I’m a little over-the-top. Any of my friends who are listening, they’re like, “A little? A little over-the-top, Olivia? A lot over-the-top!” These two dinners are going to be really incredible.

Everything is going to be thought out, really intentional, really beautiful to create a one-of-a-kind experience. I want this to be transformative for people; I know it’s going to be. I can’t wait for people to experience what I’ve planned for them. It’s really fun to see it all come to life.

It’s also been an incredible experience seeing the applications come in for the Mastermind. I’ve been having people fill out questions about what they want to work on throughout the course of this six months: What they’re hoping to get out of it? How excited they are to participate and have this sense of community, and to engage with their peers inside the Mastermind?

Reading their answers has been amazing! To see what their hopes and dreams are, what goals they want to accomplish… I’ve been so inspired by them, seeing what they want for their lives, and what we’re going to work on together to make inevitable for them. That’s been super fun.

If you’re interested in joining the Mastermind, I still have a few spots left. It’s going to be an intimate group, which means you’re going to get the exact support you need inside of the Mastermind to make those results that you want inevitable. To make your success inevitable. Go to www.TheLessStressedLawyer.com/Mastermind. I’m going to have that linked into the show notes for you to make it super accessible. Go to www.TheLessStressedLawyer.com/Mastermind and learn all about it.

You can go there and schedule a call with me so we can talk about the goals you want to accomplish during the six months of the Mastermind. I can answer any questions you have about the program, about joining, about coming to Detroit to meet me, and to workshop and mastermind in person. Any questions you have, we’ll get you the answers you want so you can move forward knowing you’re making the best decision for you.

Without further ado, welcome to Episode 8. Eight actually happens to be my favorite number. It’s my Dad’s favorite number and when I was young, I claimed it as mine, too. Ode to my Dad. I’m especially excited to record this episode because of that little quirky reason. Let’s dive in.

Today we’re talking about “defining enough.” What do I mean by that? In so many different areas of our lives we don’t define what enough is. Instead, we use vague words to describe our goals or our standards. We use words like “less” or “more” or “enough” with respect to a particular goal that we’re striving to meet.

Examples of this look like: I want to work less. I want more free time. I don’t make enough money. I want to make more money. I need to be more productive. I’m not efficient enough. I should be more responsive. I didn’t do a good enough job. I don’t have enough experience. I’m not smart enough. I need to be more organized. I’m not far enough along. I haven’t made enough progress.

You guys can see what I’m starting to say here, right? You get the hang of it? We use “more, less, enough” and it’s hard to understand what it is that you’re aiming for when you use terms like those. Because they’re vague or ambiguous, they’re undefined. Why is this such a problem?

When we keep things vague, by using terms like, “more, less, and enough,” we often feel like we’re missing the mark, which doesn’t feel good. This is because we haven’t defined where the mark is, where it’s at, and what we need to do in order to arrive at it. Our brains tend to do this adorable thing… When I say “adorable” I’m being extremely facetious here. Our brains tend to say, “I don’t know what enough is, but it’s not this.” Then we keep chasing the horizon in search of that “enough.”

We end up feeling pretty terrible, very dissatisfied. We might feel inadequate, perhaps a little confused, or lost. It’s because we don’t know what we’re aiming for. Using vague definitions of “enough” is problematic for that reason. It’s also problematic because we make working towards the goal so much more challenging when we use terms like this. If you don’t know what you’re aiming for it’s hard to reverse-engineer the path to get to where you want to go.

It’s also hard to track your progress. You can end up feeling discouraged; feeling like you haven’t gotten anywhere, haven’t made any progress, like the dial hasn’t moved at all. This is because you don’t know where you started, you don’t know what you’re aiming for, and you don’t know how far along you are in getting to where you trying to go.

Sometimes people will actually be a lot closer to where they want to be than they realize. But, because they haven’t defined where they want to go in concrete terms, they have no idea where they’re at in correlation, or with respect, to that goal and their desired outcome. You want to make sure you don’t do this. You want to be specific about where you are now, where you’re trying to go, and that will help you identify the path to get from point A to point B.

Ultimately, long story short, failing to specifically define “enough, more, or less” is a problem. You want to make sure you don’t do it. You want to be a lot more specific by using measurable metrics. That’s what the solution is, here. You have to change the way you speak about the goals you’re working towards. You have to be much more specific and use measurable metrics, so you know what you’re working towards. How to get there and when you arrive there.

Let’s work through some examples so you can start to get an idea of what I mean. If one of your goals is, “I want to work less,” I want you to actually define what you mean by working less. What’s “enough” work? I’m using air quotes when I say that; what’s “enough” work, in hours? I want you to pick a number and explicitly define that. You want to figure out exactly how much you’re working right now.

Most people don’t have a good answer to that question. They’re like, “Meh, I’m working too much.” I don’t know what that means. One person’s “too much” might not be someone else’s “too much.” One person’s “not enough” might not be another person’s “not enough.” You want to define using specific measurements. Define how much you’re working right now, come up with that number, and then decide how much you want to work.

Once you’ve done that, then you can come up with a plan for how you will get from point A to point B. In this example you’re probably going to be required to set some boundaries. You’re going to have set some boundaries, and then honor them, which will require you to feel uncomfortable.

Specifically, you may have to feel feelings like; anxious, worried, guilt. This is because there’s going to be more work to do when you hit your limit, the limit you’ve defined as “enough.” You’ll need to put your pencils down, so to speak, and go spend your time doing whatever-it-is that what you want to do with your free time.

For most people that I work with, that tends to be uncomfortable, especially in the beginning. The more you do it, the more you honor that boundary… When you hit your limit of “enough,” it will feel more comfortable over time because you’re going to start getting the benefit of having spent the time you want to be spending doing something other than work. But in the beginning, the obstacle you’re going to have to overcome is being willing to feel some of that discomfort.

Another example, when it comes to time, that I frequently hear from clients is they want to spend less time on their phone. Again, we’ve got “enough” or terms like “less” that aren’t specific enough. We want to use the exact same process. How much time do you currently spend on your phone? You want to come up with that measurable metric. Whether it’s number of minutes or, more likely than not, the number of hours you spend on your phone, you want to come up with whatever that number is for you.

You can use one of those screen time measurements apps. Your phone probably has that already available to you. You want to check in, figure out what that number is for you, and then set a specific number that you want to arrive at. Then, come up with your plan on how to get from point A to point B.

What’s important to note here, is that by using specific metrics you can make an assessment when you finally arrive at where you want to be. You might think you want to go from 65-hours of work to fifty. But you might arrive at fifty and find that it still feels like too much. That’s okay. From there, you’re going to set a new specific goal, work towards it, and reassess when you arrive there.

I just did this with a client who wanted more time, in her work-week, for uninterrupted focused work. Instead of more focused time, I had her set a specific goal to work towards because “more focus time” just isn’t specific enough. She’s making those changes now. We came up with a number that she wanted to work towards and once she gets there… Again, the path to getting there became very obvious once we defined it in a measurable metric, now she’s working towards putting that plan in place. When she gets there, we’ll assess to see if that’s enough focus time for her to get that important work done that she’s hoping to accomplish

Another example where defining “enough” is important, is the topic of money. So many people tell themselves they don’t make “enough” money. They want “more” of it. But they don’t define how much they want. If this, is you then you want to start by exploring why you are resistant to setting a specific money goal.

If some money mind-drama comes up for you, you want to know that so you can get to work on working through some of your limiting money beliefs; your resistance to talking about money, having more money, all of that. That’s going to be really important for you to be able to accomplish your goals without your mindset presenting as an obstacle getting in your way.

Money is always a math problem. When you set a specific goal, the math becomes clear. What you need to do to make the math work will also become obvious. Depending on the number you choose, and the date by which you want to achieve that goal, you may need to do things like ask for a raise, or change your compensation structure wherever you work so you’re receiving some of the originations for clients you bring in.

Maybe you need to switch jobs. My cousin, Emily, always says, “It pays to quit.” What she means by that is if you look up studies, you’ll see that the biggest pay increases typically come from when you switch jobs. They’re not going to be your merit raises that you get on an annual basis.

Maybe you’ll find, once you’ve defined your money goal, that the best way for you to accomplish it is to start your own business. That was one of the reasons that drove me to start my own business. I had audacious money goals. I figured the best way for me to be able to accomplish them was to stop exchanging time for money, at a certain point, and create a business that was scalable so I would be able to make more without working more. Maybe that’s you.

You may need to increase your prices or create more clients. Whatever it is, the path forward becomes much more apparent when you pick a specific monetary goal that you’re working towards. This is an area where there tends to be such significant dissatisfaction. People really feel like they’re not where they want to be when it comes to how much money they make.

Defining enough, here, really helps dial down that dissatisfaction. This is, in part, because it forces you to accept what you have when you arrive at where you decided to be. For instance, I am actively towards building a business where I will make 7-figures a year. That’s not going to happen this year, I’m okay with it, because the math doesn’t work out right now.

Based on what I offer, I’m switching to that group model where I’m going to be serving people in a mastermind structure. But most of my coaching practice right now is a one-on-one practice. I only have so many hours in a day. Based on what I charge my clients, it doesn’t lead to a million dollars, right? I’m really okay with where I’m at right now. My business is very successful. I make a lot more than I did last year. Again, because of the way the math works out.

Even though I’m not where I ultimately want to be, I’m able to be satisfied with where I am right now, because I’ve set specific goals; I’m working towards them. I’m able to accomplish the goals that I’ve set. The path to where I want to go is very clear in my mind, so it alleviates any dissatisfaction when it comes to making money.

You’re going to want to do this, too. It’ll help you be very accepting of where you currently are, and you’ll have a lot of clarity about how to get to where you want to go.

Now, for some other work-related terms that I see people talk about all the time. Words like productive, efficient, responsive, and timely. What do those words mean for you? Are your definitions measurable? If they aren’t, you’re going to want to change them.

We’ll start with being “more productive.” How can you measure that? One way to measure that is in the number of assignments you accomplish each day. You’re able to track that, right? Or, you can track the number of hours you work in a given day. That might be the metric you use to measure your productivity.

Do you see how, when you assign a numeric value to the term “productive,” it makes it easier to track and discern whether or not you are actually being productive?

The same thing goes with being “efficient.” How do you define that word? I often teach my clients to track the number of hours they’re at work vs. the number of hours they’re working or billing. If you’re in a billable hour model this will make a ton of sense to you. Perhaps, efficient for you is billing seven or seven-and-a-half hours out of eight, instead of only billing five hours out of eight.

You want to focus on the ratio of hours worked vs. hours at work when it comes to being efficient. That’s been my favorite way to define efficient. But again, you’re welcome to come up with your own definitions here. You just want to make sure they’re measurable.

You can see, when you define these terms in a measurable way, the tweaks you need to make in order to arrive at the metric you’ve chosen as your goal. Those tweaks become much more apparent. You might need to take a shorter lunch. You might need spend less time chit-chatting with colleagues. Maybe you need to make sure your cellphone is put away during the day so you can hit that metric. Whatever it is, the specific action items you need to take become more obvious when you use measurable metrics to define these terms.

Another term we hear all the time is “responsive.” What, on Earth, do you mean by that? I want you to come up with the answer in your head before I give it to you. If you need to, pause this, and spend a few seconds thinking of you currently define that term. Also, a really important question to ask yourself is, does the rest of your team know what you mean by that term? What do you think it means to be responsive and do they agree with you?

Do you mean twenty-four hours is responsive enough? Within eight hours responding is responsive enough? Four hours? One hour? Twenty minutes? Whatever the case may be.

There’s so much confusion here and clearing it up can have a big impact on your work life. You want to make sure your team members share your definition of “responsive enough” so expectations don’t go unmet.

I once had a client who was always frustrated with an associate he worked with. He kept saying to me, “She needed to be more ‘responsive’.” He really believed that she should know what “responsive enough” meant. That it should be intuitive. I explained to him that it likely wasn’t intuitive. Chances were, they had different definitions of what “responsive enough” meant.

Most people are doing what they consider to be a good job at work. They’re not trying to miss the mark. I very, very, very rarely find that people are being lazy. It took a lot of work to get through law school, take the bar exam, and get to the point where you’re practicing. Laziness is probably not the reason for there being an issue. You want to figure out what the reason for an issue is.

Sometimes, it’s because we’re not operating under the same definition of a term like, what it means to be responsive enough. This client of mine, he was a corporate attorney, was working on a deal. If you’re a transactional attorney, this might really resonate with you. During closings, he expected her to respond, essentially within an hour between 6 a.m. and 11 p.m., right when they were in the midst of a deal closing.

You may hear that and totally agree it’s reasonable, that during a deal closing that’s what expected. You may hear that and think it sounds crazy. That it’s way too “responsive enough” and that is not required. There’s no right answer, here. All I know, is that the associate didn’t know that was his expectation. So, she was missing the mark, unbeknownst to her.

Had it been explained to her, she could’ve made an informed decision about whether she was willing to meet that expectation, or not. They would’ve been on the same page. The chances are, the expectation wouldn’t have gone unmet. They would’ve been able to have a conversation about it. She would’ve been able to change her behavior and meet the expectation, or they would’ve been able to tweak it a little bit.

That’s a more an extreme example of responsiveness. That doesn’t need to be your standard. But I want you to pick a standard. Is forty-eight hours responsive enough? Is responding within twenty-four hours responsive enough? Pick something concrete for you, and work towards it.

If you expect someone else to respond within a certain time, just like the client I was telling you about, tell them by when you expect a response. You can put that in an email, “Hey, please respond to me by X time, or X date.” Or, you can simply call them. I know, not everyone loves to use the phone for phone calls nowadays, but it is always available to you as an option.

If you’re prone to putting off responses to emails because you want to send a substantive response, that’s something a lot of my clients talk to me about. They’re like, “Uh, should I respond right now? Should I wait and send that substantive response?” But then you keep slipping on sending the substantive response because you’re short on time. Defining enough what “responsive enough” is to you can help a ton, here.

Typically, my clients who come up with a system where they want to respond within twenty-four hours, they start to answer this question and decide to acknowledge receipt. Then, they follow up later with a substantive response. This has the effect, in the long term, of making them more highly responsive and meeting client needs.

If this is something you struggle with pick that time that’s “responsive enough” to you and then, you’ll probably decide you want to start sending those acknowledge receipts emails in order to hit that target.

As far as “timely” is concerned, what’s “timely enough?” This is a little bit different than “responsive.” “Timely,” I think the best way to define that is; are you getting things out the door when you said you were going to get them out the door? Are you hitting your deadlines?

Whatever those deadlines are, you’re setting them. They should be measurable. If you feel like they’re not measurable, again, get more specific there. Make sure you’re using a metric that is measurable. You should be able to measure whether your work is timely by discerning whether you’re hitting those deadlines.

A few other examples of where we have vague or ambiguous definitions of “enough, more, or less” … I mentioned these earlier in the episode, but I’m just going to reiterate them and go through them, so you understand this.

Examples like: I didn’t do a “good enough” job. I don’t have “enough experience.” I need to be “more organized.” I’m not “far enough along.” I haven’t made “enough progress.” Those are all areas where our definitions of “enough, more, or less” are really not clear.

What does enough mean in each of these scenarios? Ask yourself, “What’s enough experience? What do you mean by more organized? What’s far enough along or enough progress?” What do you mean by these terms? Again, make sure your answers are measurable.

Enough experience might be a number of years, or the number of times you’ve done a particular task, maybe argued a motion, or tried a case, closed a deal. Whatever the case may be, you want to define what “enough” experience is, so you know when you hit that mark.

Normally, enough experience comes up when we feel un-ready or inadequate, or unprepared. Spoiler alert, chances are you’re going to set this arbitrary goal, you’ll get to that point, and still not feel experienced enough. It’s good to know that you’re chasing the horizon here when it comes to feeling ready, prepared, adequate, experienced. That’s something that is, normally, elusive to us. But that doesn’t have to be a problem.

When we’re talking about being more organized, what exactly, does organized look like? Does that mean no clutter on your work desk? Does that mean you’ve cleaned out your fridge? Does that mean your closet is color coordinated and organized? That’s how I do mine.

Whatever that means for you, you just want to make sure you’re able to check the box: Does this constitute more organized? What did I mean by that? Same thing as with progress, you want it to be measurable, so you know whether or not you’ve achieved it. Whether you’re at that spot, or not.

Lastly, my favorite. What, on Earth, do you mean by “good enough?” How do you measure that? How will you know when you’ve arrived there? Listen, I’m a recovering perfectionist so one of the things that I actively strive to accomplish is A- or B+ work. My coach, Brooke Castillo, introduced me to the concept of doing B- work, and I was like, “Whoa! That’s way too low. There’s no way I’m ever going to feel comfortable aiming for that.”

Even with my clients, when I introduce them to the concept of doing B+ work, they tend to cringe. If that’s you, you’ll just want to know that you’ve probably got some work to do in this area, when it comes to your perfectionism.

This is still a little vague and unclear. What do we mean by A- or B+ work? How do I know when I get there on a particular project? I identify it in one of two ways.

One question I ask myself to determine whether or not I’ve arrived at A- or B+ work is, “Can I say that I’m proud of the work I’ve done? Can I say that I was thoughtful about it?” If the answer is yes, I’ve done a “good enough” job. It’s not perfect. It could probably be better if I spent more time on it, but can I say, “I’m proud of it?” Can I say, “I was thoughtful in going about how I accomplished it?” If I can answer yes, I’ve done a “good enough” job.

Another way I determine whether I’ve done an A- or B+ work and done a “good enough” job… This is going to sound a little silly, but I ask myself, “How do I think I did?” If I can get to a place where I can say, “Eh, not bad. Pretty good.” For me, that’s that A-/B+ standard.

This is different than if I said, “Eh, this is not very good.” That “Eh” vs. “Eh, not bad,” I know is a very slight distinction but it’s how it feels in my body, right? One feel pretty proud, accomplished. The other one feels like I’m still missing the mark. It feels inadequate. I let the feeling drive whether or not I’ve reached that “good enough” mark. I know it’s a bit less concrete than the other examples we’ve worked through today, but it’s still more specific than just using “good enough,” which is so ambiguous and elusive.

All right! That’s what I’ve got for you for this episode. Go through each of these terms and figure out what each one means to you, in a way that is measurable. If you do this, you’ll feel much more satisfied and accomplished because you’ll be able to work towards and achieve the progress you want to make. The path to get there will become so clear.

Oh, and a reminder. Don’t miss out on the Mastermind, you guys. It’s going to be out of this world. It’s going to be such a transformative experience. Both the in-person event with me, and the 6-months Masterminding together with me and your mastermind peers. Go to www.TheLessStressedLawyer.com. Don’t forget the “The.” www.TheLessStressedLawyer.com/Mastermind to learn all about it.

All right. Have a great week. I’ll talk to you in the next episode.

Thanks for listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast. If you want more info about Olivia Vizachero or the show’s notes and resources from today’s episode, visit www.TheLessStressedLawyer.com.

Enjoy the Show?

Episode 7: Practicing Constraint

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero | Practicing Constraint

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero | Practicing Constraint

If one of your goals is to feel less stressed and overwhelmed, the fastest way to make this a reality is to simplify your life. When it comes to our work, we often want to take on as much as possible. And while this may have served you when you were starting out, it’s not a long-term strategy. So, in this episode, we’re talking all about practicing constraint instead.

So many humans mistakenly believe that the more options we have, the better. We think keeping busy and having numerous tasks on our plate gives us the freedom of choice. However, one of the biggest issues my clients and attorneys in general struggle with is feeling overwhelmed, and the main reason why they’re overwhelmed is they’re not practicing constraint.

If you’re overwhelmed and you’re just over it, tune in this week to discover how practicing constraint allows you to get further, faster. We’re discussing intentionality around the things you consume, the things you create, and how to see exactly what practicing constraint will look like in your professional and personal life.

 

If you’re interested in taking the coaching topics I discuss on the show a step further, enrollment for the Less Stressed Lawyer Mastermind is officially open. This is a six-month group coaching program where you’ll be surrounded by a community of like-minded individuals from the legal industry, pushing you to become the best possible version of yourself. We kick off with an in-person live event and you can get all the information and apply by clicking here

If you enjoyed today’s show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know and help others find The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast. Click here for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review! 

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why a lack of constraint in any area of our lives leads to overwhelm.
  • How overwhelm shows up and why ignoring or fighting it is never the answer.
  • Why practicing constraint will immediately reduce the overwhelm you experience.
  • Where to look to discover the areas of your life you need to practice more constraint and simplify your life.
  • The importance of being intentional about how you spend your time and pursue your goals.
  • Where I’ve constrained and simplified in my own life, so I can show up with a more powerful presence where it matters.
  • How to identify and start practicing the kind of constraint that moves you forward, reduces stress, and creates freedom.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You’re listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast, episode 7. We’re talking all about practicing constraint today. You ready? Let’s go.

Welcome to The Less Stressed Lawyer, the only podcast that teaches you how to manage your mind so you can live a life with less stress and far more fulfillment. If you’re a lawyer who’s over the overwhelm and tired of trying to hustle your way to happiness, you’re in the right place. Now, here’s your host, lawyer turned life coach, Olivia Vizachero.

Hello. Welcome back. How are you all doing?

I just got back from my coaching school’s annual Mastermind event, in Austin, that I mentioned last week. My goodness, was it incredible! I can’t say enough about being surrounded by like-minded people who inspire you, and push you to be the best version of yourself. That was definitely my experience last week. I can’t rave about it enough. It’s such an opportunity to create community, bond with my peers, and up-level myself in so many different ways.

Having so recently experienced my own Mastermind experience, that I was a part of, as a client of a coaching school, it’s made me all the more excited than I even was before, to launch my own group coaching program: The Less Stressed Lawyer Mastermind.

Enrollment for that just opened up. It’s a six-months-long group coaching program and it’s going to kick-off with an incredible in-person live event. I absolutely love in-person events. That was so important for me to include when I designed this mastermind. I wanted to give people the opportunity to come together, meet their peers, bond with them, create community, inspire one another, learn from one another. All the things I just got to myself in Austin.

I want to give that to my clients. I designed it to be part of the process. I can’t wait for people to experience it for the first time. It’s going to be incredible. Make sure you stick around to the end of this episode. I’m going to give you the specific details that you need to know, so you can learn all about Less Stressed Lawyer Mastermind and how to enroll in it.

We’ll put a pin in that for a second. Now, I want to turn to today’s topic. It’s another one of my favorites. Today we’re talking all about practicing constraint.

What is “practicing constraint”? Basically, it’s where you create a limitation or a restriction, that you put on yourself. You do this because it simplifies your life. This may look like eliminating or subtracting things from your life. Or, it may look like constricting the choices you give yourself, or the options that you make available, that you have to choose from. You basically just put-up parameters, in certain areas of your life, and you live within those parameters as a means of making your day-to-day life easier.

Why do we want to practice constraint? Simply stated, because it helps us simplify our lives. One of the biggest issues that my clients and other attorneys, as well… One of the biggest issues they struggle with is feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelm is often caused by a lack of constraint. You see, we mistakenly believe that having options is amazing. Like, the more options we have, the better. We love thinking that we love having options.

That’s actually a thought error. Because having too many options or having too many things to do, leads to overwhelm. Oftentimes, it causes confusion. We don’t know where to get started. We don’t know what to focus on first. Were to turn our attention. It leads to a sense of overwhelm. It’s not as ideal as we tend to think that it is.

When we have a lack of constraint or we fail to practice constraint, we tend to feel overwhelmed. This tends to be a problem. What’s the problem with feeling overwhelmed? Well, first and foremost, it just feels uncomfortable, right? Who likes to feel overwhelmed? Experiencing that feeling is, in and of itself, unpleasant. If one of the reasons you’re tuning in to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast is to feel better on a daily basis, if that’s one of your goals, one of the fastest ways to accomplish that goal is to reduce the extent of the overwhelm that you experience.

Also, take a second and think about how you show up when you feel overwhelmed. You tend to do one of three things: You either resist it, avoid it, or, react to it.

When you resist feeling overwhelmed and you pretend it isn’t there, first of all, it ends up bubbling to the surface later. Because, what we resist, always persists. I know that sounds cheesy, but it’s so true. Also, resisting or bracing against negative emotions, like overwhelm, is exhausting. Think about how tired your arms get if you hold a beach ball underwater. You’ve got that resistance coming up. That beach ball wants to pop-up to the surface, so it requires a lot of your effort to keep it pressed down, submerged, under the surface of the water.

Another example of this, imagine carrying an hors d’oeuvres platter around at a party. I did this one time to help a friend out of a jam. She worked for a fine dining establishment. This was when we were a lot younger. She asked me to be a cater waiter at the cocktail reception of a wine tasting event, a wine auction. I had to walk around all night long with an hors d’oeuvres platter. It looks super easy, right? How hard can it be?

But you have your arms extended, sort of at a ninety-degree angle, so that tray can be right in front of you, you can offer it to the guests. It doesn’t look like it’s going to be as heavy as it is, but as twenty minutes, thirty minutes, forty minutes, an hour goes by, it starts to get heavier and heavier. You start to notice it and it becomes really grueling to keep your arms in that position and to continue to hold it upright. You want to drop the platter. Or, at least, I did.

Again, it requires a lot of effort. It ends up being much more exhausting, much more of a strain. In that sense, it was a physical strain. When we resist negative emotions, emotions like overwhelm, it becomes emotionally straining, emotionally taxing. Tiring, so to speak. Resisting negative emotions, like overwhelm, will make us feel emotionally exhausted.

When we avoid overwhelm, what we do, is we either distract ourselves by doing anything else that brings us that instant gratification or that temporary pleasure and we don’t accomplish what matters most. Maybe we procrastinate when we do this. Or we sort of spin in the overwhelm and we don’t take any action. We slip into paralysis and shut down. All of that slows us down. It prevents us from getting further, faster when we avoid.

Sometimes we react to feeling overwhelmed. If you’ve ever felt like you were overwhelmed and you ran around like a chicken with your head cut off, taking a really reactive approach instead of a proactive approach, to whatever it is you want to do… You’re reacting to the overwhelm. You know when you react in that manner, it doesn’t create the desired results. You might hit the low-lying fruit instead of focusing on the thing that really moves the dial. You’re not being intentional with how you spend your time and with the action that you take.

Reacting in that way is not going to help you accomplish the goals that you’ve set out to accomplish. Ultimately, whether you are resisting, avoiding, or reacting to overwhelm, responding to overwhelm in any of these ways, keeps you from doing your most meaningful work. If you’re experiencing overwhelm, and you’re totally over it, you’re going to want to master the art of practicing constraint. Alright? That’s what we’re talking about today.

Just like I’ve done in some of the other episodes, I’m going to give you several examples of what this looks like in practice so you can take inspiration from those examples, and come up with different ways you can practice constraint in your own life, in order to simplify your life.

Before I do that, though, I want to explain one more thing. Practicing constraint is going to look a lot like making decisions ahead of time, which I discussed in Episode 5 of the podcast. Making decisions ahead of time and practicing constraint are two different concepts. They work in tandem, but they aren’t identical.

Constraint focuses on limiting your options. Creating those parameters that you proceed to operate within. You can make a decision ahead of time about the ways you will constrain, how you will constrain, what you will constrain to. Then, you follow through that decision ahead of time, by practicing constraint. Constraint is a little different. Again, it goes back to creating those parameters, setting those limitations for yourself. They’re similar, but they aren’t identical.

With that said, let’s go through some examples on how to practice constraint. In the broadest sense, there are tons of ways that you can practice constraint. You can practice it when it comes to what you do, when you do it, what you give your attention to, what you consume. The options you allow yourself to have. The goals you pursue. There are so many different areas in which you practice this concept.

As far as examples go, I’m going to start with discussing the practice of constraint as it relates to constraining what you consume. I think this is such an important area in which to practice constraint because we spend so much of our time in consumption mode. Ask yourself; what am I consuming right now? I don’t mean “right now” as in the second that you’re listening to this podcast. That’s exactly what you’re consuming right now, right? What I mean is, in this season of your life, what are you consuming?

Do a quick audit, take an inventory. What do you listen to? What do you consume? Where do you get your information? What goes through those ears of yours, or your eyeballs? What goes into that brain of yours? What information are you taking in? Where do you get it? Is that information positive or negative? Do that audit and think about the news that you consume; the TV that you consume; movies; sources of entertainment; podcasts. What do you consume on social media? Who do you listen to; public figures, friends, family members? All of those sources. Who do you have conversations with? Maybe it’s co-workers, colleagues, other people in your industry.

Are these sources positive or negative sources? If you aren’t sure if they’re positive or negative, ask yourself, how do you feel when you interact with these sources of information? When you consume from them or when you engage with them, is it a positive feeling or a negative feeling? Do you feel more discouraged? Do you feel more worried or anxious? Stressed? Overwhelmed? Defeated? Maybe angry? Maybe righteous? Outraged? Emotions like that. If you’re consuming information from sources and you find yourself emotionally worked up, emotionally charged so to speak, you want to take note of that.

If you’re more inclined to experience negative emotions, after you consume information from these sources, it’s going to be a negative input for you. That consumption is going to have a negative effect, a negative impact. You’re going to want to limit that consumption as much as possible. One of the tricks I’ve learned, is that I tend to have a more negative response from watching TV news as supposed to consuming my news in print format. So, I switched to print. I constrain my news choices to print sources.

I also noticed that if I’m watching too much news, I’ll be a little overly negative, more so than I am normally. I’ll constrain with how much news I consume: When I check it, what times of the day I check it, what sources I check. Some don’t cause me to have a significant emotional response as others do. I will also make a decision to counterbalance if I’m consuming news. I’ll want to consume something that’s a little bit more positive because news tends to want to startle you, worry you. So, you continue to consume it; worry tends to beget more worry.

That’s done intentionally by news organizations. I’m really conscious of this. I know it’s not going to be a positive consumption source for me, so I’ll counterbalance it with something that puts me in a better mood. Makes me feel more motivated, more positive, things like that.

You also want to take inventory with who you engage with or converse with. Are those people negative? One of the things that I started to realize, when I found coaching and started to adopt the coaching principles that I’m teaching you through the course of this podcast, is that a lot of people in my life were really negative. They had a negative outlook on the world. They complained a lot. I used to be one of those people.

A lot of the conversations I had were complaintive conversations. I call those “zero-dollar conversations” now because they really don’t get you anywhere. A lot of people dwell, they rehash things, they live in the past, they focus on what they can’t control, and they tend to argue with it. All of that tends to be really negative.

If you’re listening to other people complain… If you’re listening to them sit in their own victimhood, that’s not going to be useful for you. I like to tell people, “You want to focus on solutions, not on problems.” If people in your life are focused on the problems that they’re facing, and they’re not being resourceful, they’re not solutions oriented, you might find that is a negative consumption source for you. You will probably want to practice constraint and reduce, or all together, eliminate your exposure to that source of information or engagement.

This applies even to those sources that are closest to you, the people who are in your inner circle. You might find that they are negative. You might want to constrain how much you interact with them. How you interact with them, what you talk about, things like that.

Even if it’s not inherently negative, you want to ask yourself, “Is what I’m consuming supporting or hindering my long-term goals?” Think about this in terms of consuming educational content versus content that is purely for your own entertainment.

What’s your split like? Is it 50/50? Or do you consume entertainment much more than educational content? If your split is uneven, you’re going to want to get that closer to 50/50 or have the bigger focus be on educational content. That’s going to support your growth and help you uplevel, help you work towards and accomplish the goals you’ve set for yourself. As opposed to keeping you stagnant, maintaining that status quo.

When we focus on entertainment versus education, we tend to stay stuck. Ask yourself, “What’s my split like?” You many need to constrain some of the entertainment you consume.

Who do you take your advice from? I’ve got a rule in my life: I only take advice from experts. Only certain experts, at that. I actually have a rule about this. I never take advice from people who haven’t done what I want to do. I highly encourage you to adopt the same rule for yourself. Practice constraint in that way when it comes to receiving other people’s inputs. Stick with the experts, only. Maybe you’ll want to constrain two specific experts, at that. That’s what I do.

I don’t listen to everyone. Sometimes, experts have competing viewpoints. That can lead to a ton of confusion. I constrain the specific experts I listen to, I listen only to them, and I follow through with what they teach, what they advise. And I apply it. It really streamlines my goal accomplishment. I’m able to implement so much faster because I reduce confusion by practicing constraint, in this way.

One of my coaches, Brooke Castillo, also teaches constraining to doing one course at a time. If you are a chronic consumer, and like to buy a lot of different things, invest in a lot of different programs, surround yourself or immerse yourself with a bunch of different resources, but you never seem to complete a program, or follow through to the finish line, you may want to practice constraint in that way. Do one thing at a time until you reach the end. Until you complete the process. Then, you can give yourself permission to move on to the next one.

Another question you can ask yourself, when it comes to practice constraint, is how much do you consume versus create? Again, it’s sort of like the education versus entertainment question; if you’re split is way out of whack, you can practice constraint here, too. You want to make sure your consumption versus creation split is at least 50/50. That you’re in creation mode the same amount of time, preferably more, that you’re in consumption mode.

Consuming will always be more comfortable than creating. That’s really important for you to remember. It’s because consuming requires less of you. The problem here, though, is that it’s not going to get you to where you want to go. Ultimately, the only way for you to get the results you want in your life, is to be in creation mode. The more time you spend in creation mode, the better. You want to constrain how much you consume, and what exactly, you consume.

I’ve done this in my own life. I used to be a chronic consumer when it came to podcasts. I could not listen to enough of them. I just consumed, consumed, consumed, consumed. Finally, I realized I wasn’t taking any action. It was so much safer to keep learning from other people. I kept telling myself I wasn’t ready to take action, yet. I just kept playing it safe.

When I finally became aware that I was engaged in this bad consumption habit, I pumped the brakes on all the consuming. I constrained to what podcasts I would listen to, when I would listen to them, and the rest of my time I then devoted to creating in my own business. I started putting out my own content. I started taking more intentional action to create my desired results. If you have a bad habit of consuming way more than you create, I highly recommend you practice constraint in this way.

When it comes to work, a great way to practice constraint here, is with the type of law you practice or the services you provide. People love to be a jack/jill of all trades. They love casting a wide net because they slip into scarcity mindset when it comes to generating business. They worry they’re going to leave money on the table by constraining. That’s not the case at all.

If you want to build your expertise in a particular area, or build your reputation in a particular area, constraining your offer is a game changer. Think about it this way, if you’re new to practicing criminal defense and you want to gain a ton of experience, rather than focusing on all felonies and misdemeanors, if you constrain to one particular area… maybe drunk driving cases or assaultive crimes or drug possession cases, things like that.

You’re going to get so much experience, in that particular area, so much faster. It will help you increase your self-confidence and self-concept in that area of expertise. You’ll also become known for practicing that type of law faster, by the people in your network. They’ll be able to refer you more business in the area that you’re already an expert in. It makes everything about your practice simpler.

You could also do this with the industries that you serve. If you do transactional work… Focus on constraining to a particular sector, or section of the industry. Maybe you only work with start-up companies, or you only work with cosmetic companies that are start-ups, that’s very specific. Super niche. Constraining in that way, your name is going to become more well-known throughout that industry. You’re going to be seen as an expert in that area. You’re going to get further, faster, when you constrain in that way.

Another way you could constrain is in how you accept payment. I worked for people in the past, when I was still practicing law, where we took payment in any way you wanted to pay us. That might seem intuitive, but it’s really not. It doesn’t support your success. You might be scrambling to accept in-person payments. You go meet clients in person. Your record-keeping system ends up being cumbersome and overly complicated. If you practice constraint, rather than accepting payments in a million different ways, you can just accept them in one way.

Streamline the process. Make it easy on yourself and for your clients. Make it repeatable. It will also make record-keeping a breeze. See how when you practice constraint it simplifies everything? That’s exactly what I’m talking about here. You can only take meetings or calls at certain times of the day. Or, on certain days. That’s another way to practice constraint. You free up your other time for doing your most meaningful, substantive work. The stuff that really requires your full focus, energy, and mental capacity.

You can constrain when it comes to checking your email. I think I mentioned that in the “Making Decisions Ahead of Time” episode. Most people spend their day bouncing back-and-forth between the work that they’re working on and their inbox. When we do that, we slow ourselves down. Multi-tasking is not efficient or productive. You can constrain when it comes to checking your email in order to streamline your work, and be more productive during the hours you’re working.

You can also constrain the hours that you work. If you tell yourself that you will work weekends, if you “need” to, you will end up working them. I promise. Same thing goes with evenings. If you leave that as a stop-gap or an overflow area, you will fill it. I call this “scope-creep.” If you constrain to, “I only work nine-to-five, or ten-to-six, or ten-to-five, or ten-to-four,” whatever it is that you choose. If you constrain to those hours, you’re going to be more efficient and make better use of your time. You will take as long as you give yourself to get the work done. You can constrain in that way, too.

I also love constraining when it comes to my calendar. I only use one calendar. I used to use multiple calendars; one for my personal life, one for work, things like that. Now I just constrain to one. I do this because it simplifies my life so much. Everything syncs. Everything is in one place. I don’t have to check multiple sources in order to figure out whether I have a conflict, or not. Everything is always accurate. It’s all in one place and it’s up to date.

Another awesome area to practice constraint are the social media platforms that you choose to market yourself on. I do this. There are so many different platforms available to us, but when it’s just you, it’s hard to show up everywhere. If you attempt to do that, you dilute your efforts. I’d rather have you be in one place, ubiquitously, versus trying to be everywhere but showing up nowhere because you show up infrequently.

I constrain to two platforms: LinkedIn and Instagram. There are plenty of others. I just constrain to those two so I can show up with a more significant presence. It’s a great way to get faster results on the platforms you do choose to show up on.

Speaking of marketing, I also constrain with the actions that I take as part of my marketing efforts. As you’re working to develop your own book of business this is something you can do, too. Rather than trying to do all the things, and not doing any of them well or consistently, you can constrain to doing a few things and doing them well. For me, in the very beginning, I only posted on social media. Then I added my monthly webinar series. Once I did that consistently, and it felt dialed in, I added a weekly email that I send out on Fridays. That’s a little inspiration right to your inbox.

Finally, once that all felt dialed in, I chose to add the podcast. I’ve wanted to the podcast for a long time, but I was practicing constraint so I could get really good at what I was already doing. I only added a new thing once everything else felt mastered and dialed in. That’s another way you can practice constraint when it comes to business development.

Another important area to practice constraint is when it comes to setting and working towards goals. You want to focus on no more than three goals at a time. You can break this up into two different categories if you want to: three short-term goals and three-long term goals. It does not have to be three, it should just be no more than three. Sometimes, I only like to constrain to one goal at a time because I know that practicing constraint, in that way, I’m going to see more progress in a shorter amount of time.

When you’re working towards fifteen goals, all at the same time, chances are you’re going to get really discouraged because you’re only able to devote so much time and energy to each one. Your progress is going to be slow. You’re not going to see that you’re making much headway, and it’s going to be easy to get impatient, feel discouraged or defeated, and slow down or ultimately quit.

If you want to motivate yourself, you’ll want to constrain and you’ll see success a lot faster. You’ll be more encouraged to take massive action towards accomplishing those goals. Once you accomplish one, you can move on to the next one, and so on and so forth. This is a great area in which to practice constraint

A couple of other areas to practice constraint in your personal life… These are some examples that I’ve come up with that I practice myself. What stores do you shop from? It makes clothing shopping so easy if you constrain, “I only shop in these places. I know that they’re going to have what I like.” You only go there.

Dinner reservations is another great example of this. If friends are trying to make plans, I just constrain; I don’t need to micromanage what it is they are going to choose. I just tell them, “Go to Yelp if it’s; Italian, a steakhouse, tacos, or American prends-nous. If it’s four stars or higher, I’ll love. I don’t need to look at the menu. I trust you implicitly.” When I constrain that way, it makes it so much easier to select.

This is also why you’ll see on interior design shows they’ll give the homeowners three options to choose from. They practice constraint with the options they make available to them, so they’re not overwhelmed with all the different design choices.

I do this when I make dinner plans for friends of mine, too. I will select three, or so, restaurants and I’ll send them those options to choose from. It just makes everything easier. It really reduces the overwhelm and the spinning.

Another area that I practice constraint is the airline I fly. I live in Detroit, and we have a Delta Airlines hub here, so I always fly Delta. I don’t need to go to different websites and compare/contrast rates. I just go straight to my Delta app. It makes making travel arrangements super simple.

I also constrain when it comes to travel websites. When I’m booking hotels. There are so many different options out there available to us. I’m sure plenty of them are great, I just don’t like to spin in the overwhelm and indecision that comes from having too many options. I only use Booking.com, HotelTonight, or I book directly through the hotel website. Those are the three options that I give myself.

Another great way… and I talked about this in “Making Decisions Ahead of Time,” people hate making decisions when it comes to what they’re going to eat. You can constrain, substantially, when it comes to what you eat at specific meals, when you eat them. One of my rules, during the weeknights for dinner, is to keep it simple, protein and a vegetable. I can grill that, I can use my air fryer, I can sauté something, roast it, any of those options. But it’s going to be a vegetable and a protein. That simple. That’s a great way to practice constraint and reduce the overwhelm or decision fatigue.

Those are plenty of examples to get your gears moving. To get you to start thinking of how you can practice constraint, in your own life, in order to overcome the overwhelm that you experience and make your life simpler.

Practicing constraint might sound easy-peasy, but people really struggle with this concept when they go out and try to put it into practice. Let’s discuss the obstacle you encounter when you try to practice constraint.

You guys can’t see me right now because, obviously, this is an audio format; it’s a podcast. But I just said “try” in air quotes. The reason I did that, first and foremost, is I absolutely hate that word. You’ll hear me say that time and time again, and explain why, throughout the course of this podcast. Ultimately, trying just means not doing. That being said, when you go to practice constraint, here are some of the obstacles you may encounter that cause you to simply try and not do, because you abandoned your efforts to constrain, and you don’t follow through with practicing it.

Obstacle number one: The negative thoughts that you have about practicing constraint. When I use the word “constraint” with my clients, I see them cringe. They think that it is the worst. They think thoughts like, “It’s hard.” That they’re being controlled. That they’re limited. That it’s restrictive. They just don’t like the sound of it. They have a negative association with the concept of “constraint.” If you think about constraint in this way, you will not do it because those thoughts are going to make practicing constraint too uncomfortable.

That’s the other obstacle when it comes to practicing constraint. Your discomfort avoidance. You aren’t going to want to feel those negative feelings that come from the negative thoughts that you think about practicing constraint. Negative feelings like; feeling constrained, feeling controlled, restricted, maybe bored, limited, deprived. Or I know this doesn’t sound like an emotion, but I’ve decided that it is one, you’re going to feel that sense of “FOMO,” right, the fear of missing out.

When you think about experiencing any of that discomfort, it sounds too awful, so you don’t practice constraint. That’s your comfort entitlement making an appearance again. I talked about that in Episode 4.

In order to practice constraint and the reap the benefits of practicing it, you’re going to have to do two things. You’re going to have to change the way you think about constraint. And, you’re going to have to allow yourself to feel the negative emotions that come up for you, when you practice it.

I want to offer you… You can choose to think about practicing constraint as; the more you constrain, the more freedom you have in your life. That’s how I think of constraint. I equate constraint with freedom. I think of it as a gift I give myself. It’s the best thing I can do in order to create the life that I want. I know that constraining sets me up for success. If that feels like a stretch for you, I want you… You can re-wind that part of the podcast and go back through to ask yourself, “How might that be true?” “How might Olivia be right about that? That constraint equals freedom. That it leads to success. That it supports the vision I have for my life. How might that be accurate?”

You also must allow yourself to feel negative emotions like; feeling constrained, feeling controlled, restricted, bored, limited, deprived. That sense of FOMO. Yeah, there’s going to be some FOMO, and some deprivation, and maybe, some boredom by constraining your options. That’s okay, you can survive those negative emotions. I’ve talked to you guys about that before.

Allowing yourself to experience those emotions is how you get further, faster. That will always be the case. It might require some sacrifice. You might have to feel uncomfortable, that’s okay.

Also, always be sure to remind yourself that FOMO is actually, a lie. You think you’re missing out on the options that you’ve eliminated. That you’ve set outside of the parameters you’ve set for yourself. That isn’t accurate. The truth is, you miss out either way. You miss out if you constrain and you miss out if you don’t.

If you don’t constrain, you don’t focus on what matters the most to you. You miss out on experiencing those things, the ones that matter the most. You miss out on the progress you would’ve gained had you practice constraint, and focused all your energy and efforts on one thing in particular. You’re missing out either way. I strongly suggest you don’t choose to miss out on the things that matter most because you don’t want to feel deprived or restricted. Practice constraint and make sure you miss out on the unimportant stuff, not on the important stuff.

That’s that, as it relates to practicing constraint. Take a few minutes today and ask yourself, “Where can I practice constraint? Where can I practice constraint when it comes to work? Where can I practice it in my personal life? When it comes to what I do? When I do it? What I consume? What goals I set? How many goals I set? What I focus on?” Where can you practice constraint in your life. And again, if you struggle, just ask yourself, “In what areas would I be able to simplify my life, if I practiced constraint?”

One more thing, nope, two more things. Actually, I lied; three more things. That’s it, I swear. First, I want to say thank you to all of you who have taken time and left me ratings and reviews for the podcast, so far. I appreciate it so, so much. Every so often, I’m going to highlight one of those reviews as a way to say thank you and shout out one of the amazing listeners in the audience.

This week, I want to thank Momof2Ewes. That’s the handle this listener used on the Apple Podcasts app. They wrote, “I am loving this new podcast. I can relate and feel like Olivia talking to me. I’m excited to take action and already starting to see a positive shift in my mindset. I feel like there is reduced stress in knowing there is a goal and action plan. I’ve got a long way to go, but finding myself repeating the first three episodes and hearing something new each time.

Such an awesome review! Thank you so much! Honestly, it absolutely means the world to me. Thank you so much for the thoughtful comment.

If you’re enjoying the podcast, it would be so amazing, if you would take a moment to go rate and review the podcast. I would love to know what you think, and let me know if there’s anything that you want to hear. I’d be happy to cover it in a future episode.

In order to give that rating and review, if you want step-by-step instructions for that, just visit www.TheLessStressedLawyer.com/podcastlaunch. It will give you all the details to walk you through how follow, rate, and review.

Lastly, like I promised at the beginning of this episode, if you’re interested in taking coaching concepts, like today’s topic and the other topics I’ve talked about in previous episodes, to the next level and learning to master them… If you’re craving community within the legal industry, you’re going to want to join The Less Stressed Lawyer Mastermind. Enrollment just opened.

You’re going to want to make sure you enroll. The Less Stressed Lawyer Mastermind is the room where big things happen. It’s the room where transformation happens. Where breakthroughs happen. Where inspiration happens. Where community happens. Where support happens. Where bonding happens. Where trust happens. Where belonging happens. And, where thriving happens. It’s also where accomplishing the seemingly impossible, happens. You’re going to want to make sure you’re in that room. You’re in that Mastermind.

How do you secure a seat in that room? Go to www.Mastermind.TheLessStressedLawyer.com and apply now. Make sure you do that. Spots are limited. They’re going on a first-come-first-serve basis. I want to make sure that you make the most of this year and get yourself in that room so you can really thrive in the best way possible.

Alright, my friends, that’s what I got for you this week. I’ll talk to you in the next episode.

Thanks for listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast. If you want more info about Olivia Vizachero or the show’s notes and resources from today’s episode, visit www.TheLessStressedLawyer.com.

Enjoy the Show?

Episode 6: Unofficial Job Descriptions

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero | Unofficial Job Descriptions

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero | Unofficial Job Descriptions

When I talk about unofficial job descriptions, I’m not referring to your responsibilities, what was posted on the listing when you applied, or the title you hold. It’s the unwritten standard you hold yourself to when it comes to your job. Now, I find with my clients that they subconsciously craft these unofficial job descriptions, and then they use these definitions against themselves.

We often hold ourselves to completely unattainable standards. If you go through your day-to-day work life feeling constantly pressured, stressed, overwhelmed, or even inadequate, chances are that you’ve come up with an unofficial job description, and it’s not serving you. So, if this sounds familiar, I want you to listen in and come up with a standard that supports your wellbeing instead of dialing up the stress.

Tune in this week to see where your thoughts about how you should be showing up in your work are stopping you from actually doing a good job. I’m showing you how to rewrite your unofficial job descriptions, so you can hold yourself to a high standard at work without getting in your own way.

 

If you enjoyed today’s show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know and help others find The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast. Click here for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why so many people use unofficial job descriptions against themselves.
  • How to gain awareness of your unintentional job description and how you’re using it against yourself.
  • Real-life examples from my clients about their unofficial job descriptions and how they’re negatively impacting their work.
  • Why you are 100% in control of whether you’re doing a sufficient job.
  • How to decide on an unofficial job description that is empowering and supportive of your wellbeing.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

  • I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know and help others find The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast. Click here for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review
  • Via 313

Full Episode Transcript:

You’re listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast, episode 6. We’re talking all about unofficial job descriptions today. You ready? Let’s go.

Welcome to The Less Stressed Lawyer, the only podcast that teaches you how to manage your mind so you can live a life with less stress and far more fulfillment. If you’re a lawyer who’s over the overwhelm and tired of trying to hustle your way to happiness, you’re in the right place. Now, here’s your host, lawyer turned life coach, Olivia Vizachero.

Hello, hello, hello. How are you doing today? I am so good. I am in Austin, Texas right now. I got into town a few days ago. And I came in a few days early for this mastermind event through the Life Coach School, which is the coaching school that I’m certified through. And it is just one huge reunion here. It’s so much fun. It’s so good to see everyone after being cooped away the past couple of years.

I’ve actually been dying to get to Austin for a while now. I’m a big foodie and I know that they have a great food scene. I’ve been exploring some restaurants and one place it’s definitely on my list I’m going to tomorrow night is owned by a friend of mine. In a past life I used to be a bartender. And I got my first bartending opportunity from a man named Brandon Hunt.

And a few years later, after he hired me, he moved from Detroit to Austin and started a Detroit pizza company. And it’s become a huge success. He has several locations in the city of Austin, and they’re expanding outside of the state of Texas, him, and his business partner. So I’m going to be taking a ton of my coaching colleagues tomorrow night to dinner at one of his locations.

It’s called Via 313, which is the Detroit area code. And I want to introduce a bunch of my coach friends to Detroit style pizza, which is amazing, and in my opinion, much better than Chicago. I’m sure I’ll offend some of you who might love that. But if you haven’t tried it, definitely try it. And I will report back on my experience at Via 313. I can’t wait.

Anyways, enough about Detroit style pizza and Austin. Let’s dive into today’s topic. We’re talking all about unofficial job descriptions. Now, what do I mean by that term? I’m not talking about what’s on your firm website. I’m also not talking about the title you hold, or the name of your position, or the type of law you practice.

So unofficial job descriptions aren’t about whether you’re an associate, or a partner, or of counsel. Or whether you practice as a criminal defense attorney, or some type of civil litigation, or you do transactional work. Okay? It’s not about that. What I’m talking about is the unwritten standard that you hold yourself to when it comes to your job. I find that with my clients, they unintentionally craft these unofficial job descriptions and then they use these definitions against themselves.

Why does this happen? Normally, it’s because the standard that they set for themselves is completely unattainable. So if you go through your day to day work life with an immense amount of pressure, constantly feeling stressed and overwhelmed, or maybe you feel inadequate, as though you’re missing the mark, chances are that you’ve come up with an unofficial job description that you’ve written for yourself unintentionally, and that definition is not serving you.

So what we want to do is gain awareness here as to what that definition is and how you’re using it against yourself. And if it needs to change, you’re going to want to redefine your job description in a way that supports your wellbeing instead.

The best way for me to explain and teach this topic is for me to give you plenty of examples of some of the unofficial job descriptions my clients have come up with that they’ve written for themselves because you’ll probably be able to relate to a few of them. And if you do see yourself in any of these unofficial job descriptions, what you’re going to want to do is get to work on rewriting the job description in a way that serves and supports you instead, okay?

So the first example is a client of mine, she does trademark law and she’s a litigator. And when I asked her a while back what her job description is, how would she define her job? She said to me, well, it depends on whether or not I am representing a plaintiff or a defendant. And as someone who used to practice civil litigation myself, I said, of course, I completely understand that. Run me through both examples.

And she said, okay, well, if I’m representing a plaintiff, then my job is to make sure the plaintiff gets 100% of the requested relief. I said, okay, great. And if it’s a defendant? She said, if I’m representing a defendant, my job is to make sure the plaintiff gets 0% of the requested relief. I said, awesome. How often do either of those outcomes happen? That’s the question that I asked her. And she goes, none of the time, cases always settle. It’s never that all or nothing result.

I said, great, do you see, like of course, you’re super overwhelmed because you’re defining your job in a way that’s completely unattainable. No wonder you feel terrible every day when you go to work. You’re making it impossible for you to do a “good job” by the way that you’re defining what doing a good job is. So you’re constantly going to feel like you’re missing the mark if that’s how you’re thinking of your role in that litigation setting, right?

Another example that comes up for clients of mine all the time is they say that my job is to win. And first and foremost, that’s really vague. What we mean by winning isn’t always clear. But if it’s, again, in the litigation context or maybe you’re doing transactional work and you’re trying to get a specific term negotiated, something like that.

But if you’re defining your job as my job is to win, and a lot of times you don’t win, like I used to do criminal defense work and we would lose frequently because we would have bad facts and there would be a lot of evidence against our clients. So if you are only giving yourself permission to think that you’ve done a good job and to celebrate the work that you do on the moments where you win, you’re going to feel pretty awful most of the time.

The other problem with having an unofficial job description that is focused on winning, is that the result is out of your control, right? Think about judges, we can’t control judges or what opposing counsel says or does in a negotiation process. So we define our jobs in a way that we don’t actually have control over which, again, is going to make us feel really powerless and really discouraged and defeated when we’re not able to control the outcome in a specific scenario.

So instead of defining your job as “it’s my job to win” you’re going to want to rewrite your unofficial job description in a much kinder way. That might look like saying my job is to advocate for my clients, right? That is in your control, you can do that. It doesn’t rely on anyone else, it doesn’t outsource your success to anyone other than you, okay? Which is what we want, we want you being in complete control of whether you’re doing a “good job” or a sufficient job, or that you’re just doing your job, right? We want that to be completely within your control. 

Another example of an unofficial job description that doesn’t serve people, this just came up with a new client of mine. He said that he was really experiencing almost paralyzing stress on a daily basis and that his job feels really overwhelming and heavy. And as we started to flesh this out and I asked him, you know, how do you define your job? What’s your job description? You know, tell me what you think your job is.

And he goes, I know this isn’t possible, but I see myself that it’s my job to be a lifesaver for my clients. And he also referenced like to unscrew up what’s already become a screwed up situation, right? Kind of like trying to put the genie back in the bottle, which, of course we know we can’t do. There are certain things that we have control over, but traveling back in time and preventing a bad situation from occurring isn’t one of them.

So even though he knows that he can’t save lives, and he’s not representing criminal defendants in capital cases. He does civil litigation work, so he really isn’t needing to be a lifesaver, but he’s defining his job that way. So of course he feels immense pressure on a daily basis. So that’s another example of a definition that’s not serving you, right?

Maybe that resonates with you. Maybe you see yourself as being a lifesaver to your clients. And if you do, that probably feels really heavy and stressful.

One of my other clients just answered this question when I asked, how do you define your job? Explain to me what you think your job is, kind of the unofficial definition of it. And her response, which I find to be very common, she told me, my job is to manage other people’s perceptions of me. And so many people that I work with are doing this on a daily basis. They’re so consumed with other people’s opinions, obsessing over micromanaging what everyone else thinks about them.

And, of course, we don’t have that ability, right? Other people get to have whatever opinions that they want to choose to have about us. They’re in control of that, we are not. That’s outside of our control. They get to think whatever they want, they might choose to think really wonderful, marvelous thoughts about us, or they might choose to think negative thoughts about us. But that is their business, we don’t actually control other people’s opinions of us.

So when we try to control other people’s opinions of us, when it’s something that we just lack control over, we’re going to feel really powerless on a daily basis. We’re going to feel very worried all of the time because we are defining our job as controlling other people’s perceptions of us. But we’re also going to feel very out of control because it is something that is out of our control.

So if that’s you, if you think your job is to manage other people’s perceptions of you, maybe it’s the partners that you work for, or a supervisor that you work for, or to manage your clients perceptions of you, you could do an excellent job with the substantive work that you’re doing, and people can still have a negative opinion of you. That’s on them, right?

So if you’re taking that on yourself, and making that your business, your chief concern, you want to check in with yourself there and ask is that serving you? Or is that creating a lot of heaviness that you carry with you on a day to day basis as you attempt to go about completing your job?

Another really ambiguous definition that a lot of my clients have is they say, well, it’s my job to get the best possible outcome for my client. And the problem with this is what in the world do we mean by best? That definition, what constitutes best, is going to be different for everyone.

And I find that best is normally pretty synonymous with a perfect job, getting a perfect outcome. Which when I confront people with that they say, oh, of course, we can’t ever achieve true perfection. But that’s pretty much what we mean when we say best.

Either we haven’t defined it at all so we can’t even figure out if we stumble upon achieving that best outcome. We still will feel like we’re missing the mark because we haven’t defined what best outcome means in a given situation. But oftentimes, the best outcome is sort of like the first example I gave you, that 100% requested relief achieved for the plaintiff or 0% of the requested relief if you’re representing the defendant.

It’s that very polar opposite extreme ends of the spectrum, that’s what we’re normally referring to when we’re using a term like best outcome. And if you are using that, again, you’re going to frequently feel like you’re missing the mark. So you want to check in with yourself there. And if you’re using that, start with defining what do I even mean by best outcome, and is that best outcome attainable here?

Also a similar example or for instance of this is when you say my job is to get my clients the outcome that they want or to make sure my clients are happy. Again, this is sort of similar to example number four as far as managing other people’s perceptions of you. We don’t control whether clients are happy or not. I know that seems counterintuitive to what we’re frequently taught, but you could do an exceptional job and a client could still be dissatisfied. That’s within the realm of possibilities.

So if you’re defining whether you’re doing a good job or not based on someone else’s happiness level, you’re going to feel really out of control. Also, depending on the type of law you practice you probably know this, sometimes the outcomes that clients want, they’re not possible.

So if you are defining your job, the only time that you give yourself permission to think that you’ve done a good job is when you get an outcome that your client wants, that might not be happening in a lot of the cases or matters that you work on. So again, you want to check in with yourself there and see if you’re using that type of unofficial job description against yourself. If you are, you’re going to feel really pressured and really unsuccessful.

I had this come up for me on one of the last civil cases that I handled before I switched to coaching full time. I was representing someone, and I was going to send over a demand letter with a drafted complaint. And I was hoping to settle the case before having to file the complaint and avoid all the discovery and pretrial litigation process.

And in preparing the demand letter and the complaint, I had, of course, talked to my client about the outcome that he was hoping for, how much money he was hoping to receive in a settlement. And we had come up with what we thought was a really fair figure, that he would be pleased with for it to be resolved for that amount.

And, of course, I didn’t have control over opposing counsel, they get to counteroffer at whatever it is that they counteroffer at. And they countered, and they came in really low. And I communicated the offer to my client and much to my surprise, he was actually really okay with it. He wanted the matter to be resolved very quickly. He wanted to avoid any risk of not having a favorable outcome if the case was dismissed.

So he agreed to accept their counteroffer and I noticed myself getting really bunged up about accepting their counteroffer. I felt really dissatisfied, I was feeling like I hadn’t done a good job. And it was because I was using the standard to get the best outcome possible, which certainly wasn’t the counteroffer that we had been presented with. I was also defining my job, or a job well done, as getting him close to, if not exactly the number that we had previously discussed.

And again, whether that was going to happen or not was completely outside of my control because I’m not opposing counsel, so I can’t control what offer they make us. I’m also not the judge, so I can’t control finding in our favor or, you know, jurors if it went to a jury trial instead of a bench trial. I don’t have control over any of that.

And I noticed, here I was I wanted to counteroffer really badly, I almost blew up the negotiation process and ended up going through that pretrial litigation, discovery, all of that because I wanted to achieve this unofficial job description of getting the client the outcome that we had previously discussed.

And I realized, whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s not my job here. What my job actually is, is to communicate my client’s position to opposing counsel. To advocate on his behalf. And then to communicate the counteroffer that we received from opposing counsel to my client. Advise on the risks involved with accepting or with denying, and explaining the process and just presenting my client with those options.

That’s what was required of me in that moment. It wasn’t to get the best outcome. It wasn’t to make my client happy. And it wasn’t to get him the outcome that we had previously discussed because, again, that’s out of my control. My job was simply to communicate information both ways, to opposing counsel and to my client, advise on the different possibilities and the risks associated with all of those, and then to get a decision from my client and communicate that decision back to opposing counsel.

And when we start to change the way we define our jobs and we make them so much more attainable, so much more within our control, we substantially dial down the pressure. We dial down that overwhelm, that stress. And we make it so much easier for us to satisfy a job well done, for us to achieve the standard that we set and feel good about the work that we do.

So if you feel frequently like you’re missing the mark, you’re going to want to check in with yourself here and figure out how are you defining your job? So start there, take a second and ask yourself, how am I defining my job? What exactly is it your job to do? Finish that sentence, my job is to do… Take a minute and see what comes up for you.

Maybe you think your job is to manage other people’s perceptions of you. Maybe you think your job is to win all of the time. Maybe it’s to get that 100% requested relief or to negotiate the best possible agreement for your clients. To get in every term into the contract that you want to get, or that you’ve previously discussed with your client that you think would be the cat’s pajamas, as my dad would say, right, the best case scenario.

Now, once you do that and you’ve come up with what your current unofficial job description is, you want to ask yourself this next question, is it even attainable? Is that standard possible for me to achieve? And if it’s not, you’re going to want to rewrite that unofficial job description that you’ve created for yourself, okay?

Now, even if it is attainable, you might still want to rewrite your unofficial job description. And we can do this, figure out if that’s the case for you by asking yourself this next question. Is my unofficial job description serving me? And if you see, like any of the examples I gave a few moments ago, that it’s creating undue, unnecessary pressure, you’re going to answer that question, no, it’s not serving you. And you’re going to want to bring yourself back to the drawing board here and rewrite that unofficial job description.

Now, when you do this, when you go back to the drawing board and you rewrite your unofficial job description, what you want to focus on is answering the question, what is within my control on a daily basis? What feels attainable for me? What can I accomplish? What’s a definition or an unofficial job description that feels kind to myself? And come up with that answer, define that as doing your job, or define that as doing a “good job.”

A couple examples of this, I have a client, she’s a trial attorney. We worked this through and rather than making the best possible argument in court, we’ve redefined her role as during trial her job is to bring all relevant documents to court and to ask questions that highlight the good facts and minimize the bad facts. She can check the box that she has done those two things. Ask questions that highlight good facts minimize bad facts, and bringing all of the relevant documents to court. That’s totally within her control.

You can define it sort of like I did on that last civil matter that I worked on. Communicating my position to opposing counsel and relaying counter offers to my client. That’s completely within my control, I’d be able to check that box and say, yes, I did that, I have accomplished that. Rather than, again, arguing a motion successfully which is outside of your control because you can’t control the judge.

You might just define it as my job is to argue the motion. My job is to draft agreements or negotiate terms of a contract. My job is to present my client with all of the available options, advise about the risks associated with each option, and allow my client to make a decision, right?

These are really neutral ways that we describe our roles that are completely within your control, which is exactly what we want. We want you to make sure that your unofficial job description is completely within your control, that’s how you’ll go from feeling insecure and inadequate on a daily basis to feeling assured and accomplished.

Which, who doesn’t want to feel that way, right? We, of course, all want to feel assured and accomplished as we go through our professional lives. Feeling that way is totally within your reach, you just have to tweak your unofficial job description, okay?

So go out and identify that unofficial job description that you’re currently using, possibly against yourself. And if you are using it against yourself, rewrite it in a way that supports you and serves you, okay? All right, that’s what I’ve got for you today. I will talk to you in the next episode. In the meantime, have a marvelous week.

Oh, and one more thing. If you enjoyed today’s show and don’t want to worry about missing an episode, be sure to follow the show wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you haven’t already, I’d really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know what you think about The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast.

It doesn’t have to be a five star review, although I really hope you love the show. I really want your honest feedback so I can create an amazing podcast that provides you with a ton of value. Visit thelessstressedlawyer.com/podcastlaunch for step by step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review the podcast. I’ll talk to you guys soon.

Thanks for listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast. If you want more info about Olivia Vizachero or the show’s notes and resources from today’s episode, visit thelessstressedlawyer.com.

Enjoy the Show?

Episode 5: Making Decisions Ahead of Time

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero | Making Decisions Ahead of Time

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero | Making Decisions Ahead of TimeHave you ever heard of the concept of making decisions ahead of time? It’s a relatively simple concept that can absolutely change your life. You make a decision about a specific scenario, and you don’t revisit the decision – you stick to the plan. Every time a scenario comes up, you already know how you’re going to deal with it, so you don’t have to make spur-of-the-moment decisions.

When you’re making decisions in the moment, we’re using the primitive part of our brain, which is designed to keep us safe and nothing more. However, when we make decisions ahead of time, we engage a much higher-functioning part of our brain, so instead of being reactive, we can be proactive, intentional, and logical in making decisions that align with what we really want.

We make an astonishing 35,000 decisions every day, so tune in this week to discover how to cut that down to a manageable level and make the decisions that move you forward in a way that allows you to follow through with them, leaving your brain free to do the important work.

If you enjoyed today’s show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know and help others find The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast. Click here for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why making decisions ahead of time makes so much sense.
  • What decision fatigue is and how it shows up in our lives.
  • How your brain processes the decisions you make ahead of time versus reactive decisions.
  • Where we waste time spinning in indecision and second-guessing.
  • Examples from both my life and my clients’ lives of simple decisions made ahead of time, providing structure while saving time and energy.
  • How to start making your own intentional decisions ahead of time step by step.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You’re listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast, episode 5. We’re talking all about making decisions ahead of time. You ready? Let’s go.

Welcome to The Less Stressed Lawyer, the only podcast that teaches you how to manage your mind so you can live a life with less stress and far more fulfillment. If you’re a lawyer who’s over the overwhelm and tired of trying to hustle your way to happiness, you’re in the right place. Now, here’s your host, lawyer turned life coach, Olivia Vizachero.

Hello, my friends. What’s going on with you? I hope you’re having a great week. This is my last week in Detroit before I head to Texas for an event that’s being hosted by coaching school, The Life Coach School. And I’ll actually be there in Austin when this episode is released, so if that’s when you’re hearing this, greetings from Austin.

Anyways, enough about my travel escapades, let’s dive in to today’s topic. I’m actually talking about one of my absolute favorite topics today and it’s something that I bring up in my coaching sessions with my clients all the time. My clients are actually sick of hearing me say this phrase, I say it so often. But we’re talking today about making decisions ahead of time.

What does that even mean? All right, let’s dive in. Making decisions ahead of time is where you make a decision ahead of time once and for all, and you don’t revisit the decision. Every time you encounter the scenario or the fact pattern to which the decision applies, you simply follow your original decision and implement the predetermined course of action that you’ve decided upon, okay?

So you make a decision one time, every time it comes up you follow that decision, you stick to the plan. That’s the long and short of it. Now, here’s some science behind why it makes sense to make decisions ahead of time.

And a quick side note here, if you’re wondering about what is the other option? Making decisions ahead of time versus what? The other alternative is making decisions in the spur of the moment. That split second decision that’s happening in real time, right? So you’re either making decisions ahead of time or you’re making decisions in the moment.

Here’s why it makes sense to make decisions ahead of time, we actually utilize different parts of our brains depending on which type of decision we’re making. When we’re making decisions in the moment, we’re using the primitive part of our brain.

And this is the instinctive part of our brain that is responsible for basic functioning; breathing, blinking, flinching, all that stuff. It’s also in control of our innate and automatic self-preserving behavior patterns that help ensure our survival, keep us safe and ultimately make sure that we don’t die.

I mentioned this in the last episode, that the primitive part of our brain is always trying to do three things; seek pleasure, avoid discomfort, and conserve energy. And it’s doing that as part of that natural instinctive self-preservation process. So when we’re making in the moment decisions, they’re very rarely aligned with achieving our long-term goals. They’re focused on those short-term incentives instead, okay?

Now, when we make decisions ahead of time, we use our prefrontal cortex to make those decisions. And that’s the part of the brain that is responsible for reasoning, problem solving, comprehension, impulse control, creativity and perseverance, all right?

When we make decisions ahead of time, we’ve temporally removed ourselves from the point that we would be required to take action, that the discomfort associated with taking action that would arise in the moment that we’re due to take it, that discomfort is far enough removed, it’s a distant enough threat that we don’t make the decision based on having an eye towards avoiding that discomfort.

We’re not focused on seeking pleasure, avoiding pain, and conserving energy. That self-preservation instinct doesn’t kick in because the discomfort threat is far enough removed. And that means when we’re making decisions ahead of time we aren’t reactive, we’re really proactive and intentional. We’re able to make the decision from a grounded mental space. And again, that’s because the decision is being removed the in the moment action taking when the discomfort avoidance is at its highest.

From that grounded place we’re able to make the most logical decision that is best aligned with achieving our long-term objectives. Now, why is this helpful? First, you make decisions that support your long-term growth and set you up for success. You also eliminate or substantially reduce the amount of decision fatigue that you experience. And if you’re not super familiar with decision fatigue, I’m going to explain that right now.

I want you to think of your brain as a battery. Every decision that you make depletes it little by little throughout the day. And you waste that resource, that battery energy, that battery life, making repetitive decisions when you could be using it on your best work, on the problems that are really complex that you need to tackle, right?

Think about how many decisions you make on a daily basis. Most of the decisions you’re making, you don’t even realize that you’re making them in the moment, but you are in fact making them. I actually just did a quick Google search just to see what the estimated number of daily decisions would be, and even I’m shocked. I figured the number would be high, but I’m pretty stunned.

The answer, and it’s Google so take that for what you will. But the answer that came back when I did the search was that the average person makes 35,000 decisions a day. Think of all of the mental energy that is required to make that many decisions. Think of that battery in your brain, think about how quickly it gets depleted when you’re making that many decisions.

You wake up, what time are you waking up? What time are you getting out of bed? Are you hitting snooze? What are you doing the first thing you get up? Are you getting a drink of water? Are you going to jump straight in the shower? Are you going to check your phone first? All the decisions that come with checking your phone. What are you going to wear today? There’s several decisions there, right? What are you going to eat? That tends to be everyone’s least favorite decision throughout the day.

So many decisions, when are you going to respond to that email? What are you going to say? What’s the word choice going to be? How long should the email be? Should you respond now? Should you respond later? Decision after decision after decision after decision. When are you going to check your email? Should you check it again? Has it been too long? How long are you going to work for the day? What time are you going to stop working? Will you take breaks? Will you not?

What are you going to do after work? What are you going to eat for dinner? Are you going to watch TV? If so what are you going to watch? What time are you going to go to bed? That’s just a smattering of the decisions you make on a daily basis, right?

Making all of those decisions utilizes mental energy. And it takes more energy to make in the moment decisions because you’re essentially deciding anew each time. You keep revisiting it and it’s not like you’re bringing all of the history with you. It might seem like you are, but you’re re-deciding anew every time you make the decision in the moment.

You can save energy by making the decision once, a single time ahead of time and following that plan every time you encounter the fact pattern or situation to which that decision applies. And the energy that you save, you get to apply it to doing your most important work instead of the monotonous stuff that really doesn’t require that brainpower, that heavy lifting, okay?

You also get to get to the end of your day feeling more energized because you haven’t made all of these unnecessary mental energy expenditures on in the moment decision making. And that’s really what not making decisions ahead of time leads to. It leads to you going into everyday situations undecided, your mind isn’t made up.

So one of the problems with being undecided and making decisions in the moment is that it wastes your time. And, man, time is one of your most valuable assets that you have. It’s one of your most valuable resources so we don’t want to be wasting it.

Now, why is it a waste of time? Because if we’re being really honest, most people don’t make empowered decisions confidently and quickly. That’s something that I teach my clients to do, but most people don’t do that inherently on their own, okay?

Instead of making empowered decisions confidently and quickly, people spin in indecision, they hem and they haw, they second guess themselves, which is really just another way of indulging in an action. But they take a ton of time to make a decision, to get to the point where they’re actually decided. So being undecided is a huge waste of time.

Now, you want to become a person who is decided because it gets you results that you want in your life so much faster. Actually, being decided is one of my themes for the year because I know that by being decided, I’ll be able to achieve some of my desired results that I have for myself and my business so much faster.

So I really want you to start thinking of being a person who is decided. And you achieve that by making decisions ahead of time that that’s something that really buys you back your time and makes sure that you’re making the most efficient use of the time that you have.

Now, quick side note here, this doesn’t mean that you can’t ever change your mind. I’m going to talk about this a little bit more towards the end of this episode, but you can change your mind, you just want to be doing that very intentionally.

Not in the way that comes from spinning in indecision and second guessing yourself and saying you decided but then going back on the decision and then spinning some more, okay? Not like that, We want to make really intentional changes to decisions that support the results we’re trying to create. I’ll talk more about that later.

Another problem with making decisions in the moment is that you make your life harder. And none of us want to do that, right? You over complicate your life. You essentially inconvenience yourself when you resort to in the moment decision making. And listen, you don’t need to add insult to injury here by making your life harder than it needs to be. Most of my clients come to me already believing that their lives are hard enough.

So you want to avoid making as many in the moment decisions as you possibly can in order to simplify your life, make it less complicated, make it much more convenient, make it easier. Who doesn’t want things to be a little easier, right?

Okay, now that I’ve explained what making decisions ahead of time is and why it’s better than making decisions in the moment, I want to go through several examples of decisions that you can make ahead of time. And I want to do this, and I mentioned this in that last episode, because that’s how you’re really going to begin to learn, understand, and internalize these concepts, through lots and lots of examples.

A lot of these decisions that I’m going to share with you are decisions that I’ve actually implemented in my own life to simplify my life, make things more convenient, save myself time. Other decisions that I’m going to introduce you to through these examples are some decisions that my clients have actually implemented. And I think they’re great, so I want to offer them to you as inspiration.

The first one I want to start with is one of the ones that I’ve had in place the longest, but it’s a decision that I’ve made ahead of time about where I put my car keys. I put them in the exact same spot every single time I come back into my house after I’ve used my car. And I never ever waver from this.

They go in a particular drawer, I put them there as soon as I enter my house, even when I have the urge to just set them on the coffee table and put them in the drawer later. I remind myself in that moment, we’ve already decided this, we’ve made a decision ahead of time. Go put your car keys in the drawer. And then I go do it.

And how does this make my life more convenient? I’m never scrambling to find my keys. This is a super simple decision ahead of time, but it really does make my life easier. I’m never late because I can’t find my car keys. I always know where they are. I don’t have to dig for them in my purse. I don’t have to look for them in a sofa cushion or underneath my couch or anything like that. I always know exactly where they’re at.

Another decision ahead of time that I’ve made is the decision to plug my cell phone in every night before I go to bed to charge. If you’re a friend of mine, you know that my cell phone used to be perpetually dead. And it’s super inconvenient, right?

I used to have to worry about bringing a charger with me if I would go out for the night because my phone probably wouldn’t be charged. If you’re trying to get ahold of someone and your phone dies, that’s super inconvenient. It just added extra tension and stress to my life. And that extra stress and complication, totally unnecessary.

So I problem solved, I figured out what would make my life easier. And that is to, first and foremost, buy a long enough charger so I could plug my phone in and be in bed with my phone every night, that was one of the reasons that I wasn’t charging it in the evenings to begin with. So I bought a longer charger and now I charge it every single night. I am not allowed to fall asleep until my phone is plugged in. I honor that decision every night when I go to bed.

Another decision ahead of time that I’ve made is regarding my calendar. I use an electronic scheduler to schedule a lot of my calls because I absolutely hate the back and forth of figuring out when people are free to schedule a call. That’s actually another decision ahead of time that I’ve made, that I don’t do the back and forth, I only use my electronic scheduler, I use Calendly.

So because I have Calendly, people have access to my calendar. And if my calendar is not always up to date it’s really easy for me to end up becoming double booked, which I absolutely want to avoid. I don’t like, again, the unnecessary communication of having to resolve a conflict that was completely avoidable.

So I have a rule, as soon as the need for a calendar event arises, I have to create it. I create the calendar event immediately, all of my time is up to date and blocked off and it eliminates all conflicts, which is absolutely life changing and such a headache saver.

Here are a couple other examples, when it comes to scheduling calls I have a rule I never scheduled back-to-back calls. Making this decision ahead of time makes sure that I don’t end up running late for one thing because another thing ran long. And I don’t have to deal with the stress at the end of a meeting if something seems to be running over. So when the opportunity to schedule something back-to-back arises, I remember I have made the decision ahead of time and that’s simply a no for me.

Here are a couple other decisions you can make ahead of time that relate to your calendar and how you spend your time. Any standing meetings that would make sense for you have throughout the week, pick the same day and time and just have them as recurring appointments on your calendar instead of scrambling last minute to try and find a time that works for everyone.

People will be able to plan ahead, it saves the back-and-forth time of the scheduling. And it also allows you to make the most efficient use of that meeting time because everyone was able to prepare for it.

You can also make a decision ahead of time about when you start work and when you end work for the day. If you want to start work every day at nine, then you make that decision and you honor it. You get out of the drama of having to figure out do I start at 9? Am I starting at 8:30? Well, maybe 9:30 is okay. You will eliminate all of that decision fatigue and indecision by just deciding the time you start work and honoring it.

You can make a decision ahead of time about when you enter your billable time if you’re someone who has to do that as part of their job. You can make a decision ahead of time about when you check social media. If you’re a procrastinator and you tend to check it throughout the day and it really messes with your productivity and puts you behind when it comes to your schedule, you can make a decision ahead of time about when you check social media throughout the day.

You can also do this with email rather than being in your inbox all day long, for lack of a better term half pregnant between the work that you’re working on and your inbox. You can decide ahead of time the times of the day when you check email and you just honor that. If it’s not in one of those times, you wait until one of the times to check it.

Making this decision ahead of time makes you so much more focused and efficient when it comes to your work because you don’t waste time reorienting yourself between your inbox and the more substantive task at hand, okay? So that’s a really big game changer if you choose to make that decision ahead of time and implement it.

You can actually make scheduling decisions about when you do anything. Everyone’s least favorite decisions tend to be around food, so you can make decisions ahead of time about when you eat, where you eat, and what you eat.

So think, what decisions can you make ahead of time to simplify the food category for yourself? I’ve made a ton there, especially about what I eat during the week nights in order to make my life a lot easier because I noticed I was wasting a ton of time making decisions around food.

I also make decisions about when I order groceries and go grocery shopping. That’s a weekend activity for me and I normally go to the market on Friday nights because I like to prepare a fresh dinner on Friday. And I make sure my groceries are ordered and delivered on Sundays so I have things for the week.

You can make decisions ahead of time about what time you go to bed. Your whole evening routine will start to become much more structured and reliable if you make a decision like that.

You can make a decision ahead of time about how often you post on social media, if that’s something you’re doing to build your practice, to build a book of business. If you default in the moment decision making, you’re going to let other work take priority over that business development, right?

You can make decisions ahead of time about how many hours you bill each day. This is something that I do with my clients so frequently. We make a decision ahead of time about what the number is going to be each day, and they make sure they hit that number. That way their billables are really consistent and they don’t have to worry or scramble towards the end of the month or the end of the year, any of that. We just have a target; they decide and they set their whole day up to make sure that they reach that.

You can make decisions about how and when you send out invoices. You can make decisions ahead of time that you never discount. That’s something that I teach my clients not to do. You can make decisions about when you respond to email and how you respond.

So many people waste time being undecided between whether they acknowledge receipt or whether they send a comprehensive response later. You can make a decision ahead of time of exactly how you approach that scenario every time you encounter it so you stop wasting all that mental energy re-deciding the same thing over and over.

You can also make decisions ahead of time about where you shop for clothes and what specifically you buy. I made that decision myself, I noticed that I would always buy cream-colored tops and that I would never end up wearing them because I always just thought white looked better than cream with any of the things that I was wearing. So eventually, I decided enough, no more cream. And now it’s just a no for me. I followed that decision that I’ve made ahead of time, every time I shop now.

Okay, those are the examples I have for you. Now listen, I could spend hours and hours and hours talking about all of the decisions ahead of time that you can possibly make in your life. And perhaps at some point I’ll do a part two where I give you more examples of this. But what I really want to encourage you to do is borrow some of these for yourself, that’s why I gave you so many examples in this episode. I know it was kind of a long list, but I wanted to give you ideas that you could borrow.

I also wanted to give you a bunch of examples so you can put on your own thinking cap and use these examples as a source of inspiration to figure out what decisions you can make ahead of time to free up your own mental energy and simplify your own life, okay? You want to pick decisions ahead of time that are bespoke to you and your life, that best support you. This isn’t one size fits all.

I also want to make sure that you don’t use this list against yourself. I gave you a long list, I don’t want you to try and implement all of these decisions ahead of time all at the same time. Pick one decision, make one decision at a time and master it. Put it in place and then add another one. Master the one after that and then keep repeating the process. Okay?

Don’t overwhelm yourself here. If you do, you’re not going to be effective, you won’t follow through. And I’m going to talk about this, specifically it’s the topic of constraint, more in the next episode. But for now I just want you to know you’re not doing yourself any favors if you overwhelm yourself by taking on too much. You’ll get discouraged and then you’ll give up. So don’t do that, take this one decision ahead of time at a time.

Speaking about following through, I want to add one more thing here. People always say to me, okay, I made the decision ahead of time, but now comes the hard part, actually honoring the decision ahead of time and following through with what you’ve decided. Be careful not to conflate ease with comfort. Following the decision you made ahead of time is actually the easier thing to do. It just isn’t always the most comfortable, okay?

With that in mind, let’s talk about the voice in your head that’s telling you not to follow through. That voice may not be there with every decision ahead of time that you make. For a lot of mine I have such a compelling argument for why I made the decision ahead of time in the first place that I have absolutely no mind drama on following through with it.

A couple of my decisions ahead of time though, I do have that voice in the back of my head that’s whispering to me, “Olivia, just break your rule just this once. It’s totally okay. It’ll be fine.” And if that’s you, if that’s happening for you as well, I want you to know that it’s totally normal.

You also have to expect that it’s going to continue to be there though. Because if you make that voice being there a problem, if you make it mean that something’s gone wrong, you’re really going to stumble and struggle when it comes to following through and honoring the decision that you made ahead of time.

For me, I always have a voice when I’m coming into my house with carry out, normally if it’s pizza this is when the voice seems to be the loudest. I always want to walk into my living room and put the pizza down and not put my car keys in the drawer. And every single time I catch that voice in my head, I call it out and I say, “No, no, no, that’s not what we’re doing. The keys go in the drawer before you sit down to eat. That’s where they go, that’s our protocol. That’s the decision we’ve already made.”

Same thing when I crawl into bed at night, and I get all comfy and I forgot to plug my phone in. And I have all my blankets situated, and my pillow situated, and I’m cozy and I don’t want to move. That voice is whispering to me, “It’s okay, you don’t have to plug your phone in. It’ll be fine. It’ll be okay tomorrow. It won’t make a difference.”

And I catch myself and I say, “No, that’s not the decision we already made. That’s not what we do here.” And I make myself get up from under the covers, reach for my phone cord. And it’s not a big deal, obviously, but it does require me to embrace some discomfort in order to honor the decision ahead of time.

Same thing happens with the calendar requirement that I have where I make the calendar event immediately. I schedule the event so I avoid any double-booking conflicts. I always have this urge to just do it later. I know that’s going to happen, so I expect it to come up for me and I just have a conversation with that voice and I say, “No, no, no, that’s not what we’re doing. You know the rule, make the calendar event right now.”

I never make that whisper that’s tempting me to abandon the decision I made ahead of time a problem. I just expect it and then I dismiss it. I just don’t give it a seat at the table. So if you make a decision ahead of time and you experience resistance when it comes to honoring that decision and following through on it, what I want you to do is identify the feeling that you’ll be forced to feel if you just force yourself to honor the decision. Find that one word emotion and then gag and go through that discomfort.

I’m always going to bring you back to that, okay? That’s the process of making decisions ahead of time. Make the decision, go to honor it, if there’s resistance, make sure you’re familiar with the compelling argument you have for making the decision in the first place. Identify the feeling you’ll be forced to feel, and then gag and go through feeling that discomfort.

Now, questions that you can ask yourself in order to help you identify the decisions ahead of time that you want to make that set you up for success. I want you to gather data and make data driven decisions about these decisions ahead of time.

So I want you to think each week about the week before, what worked and what didn’t. And what decisions could you make ahead of time that would remedy what didn’t work? Other questions to ask include what decisions do you make most frequently? Identify those decisions and figure out what decisions you could make ahead of time in that area.

What decisions do you hate making, right? What decisions can you make ahead of time there to really avoid having to remake those decisions that you don’t like making? What decisions can you make that would make your life simpler? Kind of the converse of this is what makes this situation hard? What makes this task hard? That’ll help you start to problem solve and identify areas where you might be able to make decisions ahead of time in order to simplify things. Another question is how can this be easy?

And last but not least, you want to make sure you’re making decisions ahead of time that are in line with your preference, otherwise you won’t honor them. So a good example of this is you can decide ahead of time that you’re going to wake up at six o’clock every day. But if you don’t want to wake up at six o’clock every day, you’re probably not going to stick to that decision.

So ask yourself, what’s my preference here? And be really honest with your answer and come up with a decision ahead of time that takes that preference into account and honors it, okay?

That’s what I’ve got for you this week. Go out, brainstorm, take some of these examples, apply them in your own life, come up with your own decisions ahead of time that you can make. And I would love to hear about some of the decisions ahead of time that you come up with.

I know that you’re going to have amazing ideas so reach out to me, DM me on social media, send me an email at Olivia@thelessstressedlawyer. Tell me what decisions you come up with, I would die to hear them. All right? Have a beautiful week, I’ll talk to you in the next episode.

Oh, and one more thing. If you enjoyed today’s show and don’t want to worry about missing an episode, be sure to follow the show wherever you listen to podcasts. And if you haven’t already, I’d really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know what you think about The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast.

It doesn’t have to be a five-star review. Although I really hope you love the show. I really want your honest feedback so I can create an amazing podcast that provides you with a ton of value. Visit thelessstressedlawyer.com/podcastlaunch for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review the podcast. I’ll talk to you guys soon.

Thanks for listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast. If you want more info about Olivia Vizachero or the show’s notes and resources from today’s episode, visit thelessstressedlawyer.com.

Enjoy the Show?

Episode 4: Comfort Entitlement

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero | Comfort Entitlement

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero | Comfort EntitlementIn the last episode, we talked a little about discomfort avoidance. Basically, you identify the actions you need to take to create a desired result, but you don’t take the action because it’s uncomfortable. This is such a common problem, so today we’re taking a deeper dive, and looking at one of the biggest drivers of discomfort avoidance: comfort entitlement.

Comfort entitlement is an expectation that you should be able to take a particular action and that it feels comfortable in the process. When it turns out it isn’t comfortable, you make that discomfort a dealbreaker. But the discomfort isn’t negotiable. But that doesn’t mean you can’t do it anyway.

Tune in this week to discover what’s going on in your brain when you’re experiencing discomfort, and why we feel entitled to comfort. I’m sharing why our brain thinks discomfort is an existential threat, why it’s not, and how believing it is a threat is keeping you stuck, not safe.

If you enjoyed today’s show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know and help others find The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast. Click here for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why comfort entitlement is a problem if you’re trying to create new results in your life.
  • How to see where comfort entitlement is preventing you from taking action.
  • Where comfort entitlement comes from and why our brains can’t distinguish between discomfort and danger.
  • 3 things your brain is focused on and why discomfort feels like a threat.
  • Where comfort entitlement has come up in my own business, and how I overcame it.
  • Why avoiding discomfort doesn’t actually keep us safe, despite what our brain believes.
  • 3 questions to ask yourself to see what would be possible for your life if you weren’t entitled to comfort.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast episode four. We’re talking all about comfort entitlement. You ready? Let’s go.

Welcome to The Less Stressed Lawyer, the only podcast that teaches you how to manage your mind so you can live a life with less stress and far more fulfillment. If you’re a lawyer who’s over the overwhelm and tired of trying to hustle your way to happiness, you’re in the right place. Now, here’s your host, lawyer turned life coach, Olivia Vizachero.

Welcome. How are you doing today? I am recording this episode right before the podcast launches. Literally, it’s the night before the first episodes go live first thing tomorrow morning. I am so excited I can hardly stand it. If you’ve already listened to the first three episodes prior to tuning into this one, first and foremost, I just want to say thank you so much. I hope you loved them. It’s an absolute honor to have the opportunity to speak with you each week through your speakers. I can’t even begin to tell you how humbled and grateful I am that you’ve embarked on this journey with me by choosing to tune in.

All right. Now with all that out of the way, let’s get to today’s topic. It’s a little bit of a natural extension to something I discussed on the last episode. In the last episode, I talked a bit about discomfort avoidance. As a little bit of a refresher, discomfort avoidance is where you identify the action you need to take to produce your desired results, the results you want to create. But then when it comes time to take that action, you don’t take it because it’s uncomfortable.

Instead of moving forward in spite of and despite that discomfort, you will avoid experiencing that discomfort by not taking action at all or doing something else instead that’s more comfortable in the moment. That’s discomfort avoidance. Okay.

Now today I want to talk about a related problem. It’s actually one of the driving forces behind discomfort avoidance. That’s comfort entitlement. What’s that? I’m so glad you asked. Comfort entitlement is an expectation that you have that you should be able to take a particular action and have the experience of taking that action feel comfortable.

The entitlement part comes in when invariably you go to take the action, and it isn’t comfortable. You start to feel that sense of discomfort, and you refuse to take action and move forward because you feel entitled to feeling comfortable while you take that action. You make that discomfort a deal-breaker.

Why is this an issue? First and foremost, it is an issue because it defies the natural human experience. Almost any time you’re learning, doing, or creating something new, whenever you’re changing the status quo or embarking on an intentional action that produces results you want in your life, you’re going to feel some kind of uncomfortable. Some flavor, as I like to call it, some flavor of discomfort.

All right.  Now if you’re feeling entitled to feeling comfortable. So much so that you make experiencing that discomfort a complete non-starter, you’re never going to accomplish anything you want to accomplish.

Now, where does this entitlement come from? There’s a primitive part of your brain that’s actually designed to keep you safe, and it’s always trying to do three things. Seek immediate pleasure, avoid immediate pain, and conserve energy. It perceives any type of discomfort as going against those three goals, those three initiatives, and it perceives it to be a threat.

This primitive part of your brain cannot discern between discomfort and danger. So it sounds the alarms when you start to experience any type of discomfort, and it tells you to abort that action in favor of maintaining the status quo. That’s what it thinks is the safest thing to do.

The problem here is that most of the discomfort we experience when we’re working on accomplishing our goals, when we’re working towards something and taking that intentional action, it’s not an existential threat to our survival, to our safety. So avoiding the discomfort doesn’t keep us safe. It actually keeps us stagnant. Okay.

In addition to this primitive preconditioning that’s always trying to seek immediate pleasure, avoid immediate pain, and conserve energy as a protection mechanism, we also tend to buy into the belief that we should feel comfortable all the time. All right. That if we don’t feel comfortable all the time, something has gone wrong. That there’s a problem, and we need to solve it. The way that we solve this problem is by avoiding the discomfort altogether.

Now, knowing these two things, here’s what you can do. First, when you understand that your brain’s natural instinct is to avoid discomfort in order to keep you safe, you can override this natural response by taking action in spite of and despite the negative feeling you experience.

Second, you can start to actually reconfigure the way that you think about experiencing discomfort in the first place. Instead of thinking that it shouldn’t happen, you can anticipate it and decide it’s not a problem at all. It’s all going exactly as it’s supposed to. It’s just part of the program.

After all, it really isn’t a problem. If you think about it, think back over the course of your life, you’ve survived absolutely every negative emotion you’ve ever experienced. So you can and will survive all of the ones you experience going forward. Experiencing different flavors of discomfort is not an issue. Okay.

Now that you understand what’s driving your comfort entitlement, I want to walk you through several examples of what comfort entitlement looks like. Okay. The reason I want to do this is because I believe that it’s the best way for you to learn and really understand this concept. I’m going to do this all throughout the course of the podcast because we learn when we see how it comes up in our own day-to-day lives.

Hypotheticals and theories are great, but you’ll really start to make meaningful changes in your life when you could identify when you’re indulging in patterns like this. Specifically, in this instance, when you’re indulging in comfort entitlement. When you can spot it in the moment and course-correct, that’s when things are really going to start to shift.

The best way to become skilled at making that identification in the moment is to see a ton of scenarios where this pattern comes up, this habit comes up so you can identify it. You’ll be more familiar with it, and it’s easier to recognize when it happens to you. Okay.

So I’m going to go through a bunch, but let’s start with a super common one. I want to start with saying no. All right. Someone asks you to do something, maybe it’s work-related, maybe it’s not. It could be going on in your personal life. Either you don’t have time to do it, or you simply don’t want to do it. Chances are it could totally be both right? Maybe you don’t have time for it, or you feel like you don’t have time for it, and you don’t want to do it either.

But when you think about saying no or you’re about to say no. Maybe you’ve decided ahead of time, I’m gonna say no, but then it comes time to actually say the words, “No, I’m not going to do that. Or no, that doesn’t work for me.” You start to experience some type of discomfort. It starts to bubble to the surface.

Most oftentimes with saying no, I find that people start to experience guilt or fear. Right? They feel guilty because they think they should say yes, or they feel afraid because they’re worried about what the other person’s going to think, how they’re going to respond, whether or not there’s going to be a negative consequence as a result of them saying no. Okay. Even though they really want to say no, they make that discomfort, that guilt, or that fear a deal-breaker.

Now, consciously or unconsciously, most people think that they should be able to say no and feel comfortable while they do it. They think the guilt or the fear shouldn’t be there. That it should be easy. That it should be comfortable. Because they don’t feel comfortable, they don’t move forward and say no. That’s comfort entitlement.

The next example I want to talk about is sticking to your schedule. I work with so many of my clients on time management. It’s one of the things that I coach on the most. I’ll talk a lot about time management over the course of this podcast. I’ll specifically get into the mindset you need to have when it comes to time management, and the specific strategies that I teach. I’ll dive into great detail about that in future episodes.

Here I just want to talk about the discomfort that comes up when it comes to sticking to your schedule. One of the specific components of time management that I teach is for people to plan their schedules ahead of time, and then go ahead and honor that plan. All right. My clients hate doing this, and I can’t blame them. Years ago when I first started practicing time management, I hated doing this too. It felt super uncomfortable.

Because it felt super uncomfortable, I wouldn’t do it. I wouldn’t stick to the schedule. I see the exact same resistance coming from my clients. I think this, out of anything that I teach, is the thing that they loathe the most is sticking to their schedule.

Here’s why. It forces them to feel super controlled, bothered, restricted, and oftentimes even bored. They think that it should be comfortable to stick to it. So when those negative feelings start to make an appearance, they abandon that plan, that schedule that they set for themselves because they’re entitled to feeling comfortable. Sticking to the plan isn’t comfortable. So they refuse to stick to it. That’s comfort entitlement too.

Now, another example is posting on social media. This is actually something that I struggled with when I first started my coaching business. I knew I wanted to market myself online, but I could not bring myself to post content on social media.

Here’s why. In order to do it, I had to be willing to feel exposed and embarrassed in front of former colleagues. I was really concerned about what other people would think. I thought that they would think life coaching was really silly or stupid, much different than what I assumed people thought about me practicing law, right. That it was practical and responsible and impressive and prestigious and admirable, all of those things.

So I had a ton of mind drama about putting myself out there on social media, and marketing myself as a coach. Now, in the beginning, I made those negative feelings. That feeling of feeling exposed, that feeling of feeling embarrassed. I made those feelings deal breakers. I was completely entitled to feeling comfortable when it came to posting. And because I wasn’t comfortable posting, I didn’t post. That’s comfort entitlement too.

Another great example here is weight loss. This is an area where I see a ton of comfort entitlement. I’ve actually even had this issue myself. I’m giving you guys, you know, full disclosure of all the things I’ve previously struggled with in this episode that I’ve had to work through where I’ve had comfort entitlement come up for me.

So in the past, I wanted to lose weight, but I wanted to feel super comfortable while doing it. I wanted to eat all the foods that I typically enjoyed eating. I’m a huge foodie. So I wanted to be able to eat all of the delicious meals that I love to indulge in and really enjoy. I was really kind of treating food as entertainment, right?

I didn’t want to plan my meals in advance or stick to a restricted diet that actually supported my weight loss goals. I didn’t want to give up cheeseburgers or Reuben sandwiches or certain desserts, or that extra glass of wine that also probably didn’t support my weight loss goals at the time, right? I didn’t want to do any of that. I wanted to be able to eat whatever I wanted and lose weight.

In order to stick to the schedule and plan meals in advance and really constrain what foods I was eating that would support those goals, I would have been forced to feel deprived and honestly probably pretty bored with eating the same thing or eating a limited selection of food choices. So for so long, I didn’t change my eating habits because it wasn’t comfortable for me to change them. I was entitled to feeling comfortable when it came to food. It wasn’t until I dropped my comfort entitlement that I made a change to my diet and began eating in a way that supported my weight loss goals.

I also see comfort entitlement come up a lot when it comes to people applying for new jobs. My clients will come to me, and they’ll want to switch jobs. But when it comes to applying, they only want to have to apply to a few of them. When they start to apply and they don’t get callback interviews, or they get told no and they don’t get that position that they went out for, they have this natural inclination to want to quit applying.

Why? It’s because they’re feeling entitled to feeling comfortable. Continuing to keep applying, despite that rejection that they’ve already faced, would mean that they’d have to keep feeling rejected and discouraged and keep showing up in spite of and despite those feelings. But they think they shouldn’t have to feel those emotions, and as a result of thinking that they shouldn’t have to feel them, they quit. That’s comfort entitlement too.

My last example that I want to talk about is one, it’s probably my favorite one, to be honest. It’s the comfort entitlement that I see when people have a desire to start their own law firm or start their own business that might be outside the practice of law. I see so much comfort entitlement here. People think that they should be able to start their own business, and that they shouldn’t have to feel uncertain or nervous or misunderstood as they do it. They want that experience to be comfortable.

But when you’re doing something new, you’re not going to have everything figured out. You’re not going to know all of the answers in advance. You’re not going to have that crystal ball that’s going to tell you exactly how it’s going to go. So you’re gonna have to feel uncertain. You’re probably going to have to feel nervous, like, “Oh, what if it doesn’t work out? What if it takes longer than I’m expecting, right?” Those nerves are going to be there.

A ton of people want other people in their lives to support their decision to make a big shift. I know that’s something I had to work through. Really allowing myself to feel misunderstood when I made the shift to start my own business because other people are concerned, and they might be not as risk-tolerant as you. Or they might think that you’re pursuing a route that isn’t as safe or secure as maybe what they think you should do or what’s right for you. So you’re going to have to feel uncertain. You’re going to have to feel nervous. You’re going to have to feel misunderstood by those people that are in your lives.

When it’s not comfortable, when those feelings come up, people make them a deal-breaker. They refuse to move forward. They just spin. They indulge in an action. They quit before they ever get started all because they’re entitled to that process feeling comfortable.

Listen, in a perfect world, we wouldn’t have to feel negative emotions, right? It’d be all rainbows, daisies, and sunshine every day. We’d get to take action and feel totally comfortable while we do it. But unfortunately, and I am fine really emphasizing the unfortunately here, you guys. I would love to be able to do all the new things and take all of this action to produce the desired results in my own life and get to feel comfortable while I do it. All right. But unfortunately, that’s just not the way the world that we live in works. We’re going to have to take action and feel uncomfortable while we take it.

Now, there’s one caveat here that I do want to emphasize. Can you just adjust your thinking and reduce the discomfort that you experience? Yes, 1,000%. Absolutely. Your thoughts cause your feelings. I’m going to dive into that in a lot more detail in future episodes to really explain how that causal connection works.

But since your thoughts cause your feelings, if you want to feel differently and you want to drastically dial down the discomfort that you experience, all you need to do is change your thoughts. That discomforts coming up because you’re thinking negative thoughts about taking that action that you intend to take. All right.

But here’s the thing. What I found with my clients, and also I found this to be true with myself, is that no matter how much you practice believing new thoughts, positive thoughts that really fuel you to move forward, some of the discomfort caused by those original negative thoughts, that negative line of thinking, it’s going to continue to linger. All right. Because part of you is just still going to hold a little bit of belief in that previous negative thinking.

If you’re entitled to feeling comfortable, you’re going to make that lingering discomfort a deal breaker. Whether you do that, though, is totally optional. It’s completely up to you. You can choose to continue to be entitled to feeling comfortable, or you can choose to drop your entitlement to comfort at any time. Totally up to you.

Now, why is it so important for you to drop your entitlement to comfort? Here’s the thing. As long as you hold on to it, you’re never going to create the life you want to live. A life you’re obsessed with. After all, one of the things you hear me say time and time again. If there’s no feeling you’re unwilling to feel, there’s absolutely no results you cannot create, okay?

But in order to create a life you’re obsessed with, you’re gonna have to gag and go through that discomfort. That discomfort is just going to come with the program. It comes with the territory. You’re going to have to feel it and take action in spite of and despite it.

Now with this in mind, if you’re hearing me explain all of this and you’re realizing that you’ve come down with a case of comfort entitlement and have been avoiding taking the actions that you need to take in order to produce the results you want in your life because you’re feeling entitled to feel uncomfortable while you take those actions. I want you to ask yourself these questions, and really let these questions marinate the rest of the week, okay? Let them sink in, really mull them over, give them some deep thought.

Here they are. There’s three of them. They kind of all go together. Who would you get to be? What would you get to create? What kind of life would you be able to build for yourself if you weren’t entitled to feeling comfortable? I really want to urge you here to come up with as specific and detailed answers as you possibly can. Really give those three questions some deep thought. Who would you get to be? What would you get to create? And what kind of life would you be able to build if you weren’t entitled to feeling comfortable? Okay.

Let me say this. I don’t want to manipulate your answers or kind of do a spoiler alert here. I really want you to come up with your own original responses to those questions. But I will say this. Chances are if you dropped your entitlement to feeling comfortable while you take intentional action, everything about your life would likely be different.

More specifically, everything about your life would likely be better than it is right now. Okay, let that sink in. Again, go through those three questions. Really mull them over. Let them marinate and be detailed and specific with your responses to them. Okay.

Then lastly, I want to let you in on a little secret. I really think that this is so important to remember. The truth of the matter is there’s always discomfort both ways. That primitive part of our brain really loves to play tricks on us here. It’s only focused on avoiding the most immediate discomfort when you’re entitled to feeling comfortable.

So it’s identifying the most immediate uncomfortable feeling in that moment. It’s telling you that you need to avoid it, abort the mission, stop taking action, all right. It’s not thinking further down the road and being logical and comparing these two different kinds of discomfort. All right? But the truth of the matter is that there’s always discomfort both ways in taking the intentional action and in not taking it. All right.

I’m going to go and walk through those examples that I gave you earlier and show you how this is true. When it comes to saying no, there’s the guilt and worry that comes from saying no, or there’s the resentment and overwhelm that comes from saying yes, right. When it comes to sticking to your schedule, there’s feelings like restricted and bothered and constrained and maybe bored that come from sticking to it. But then there’s anxious, behind, and overwhelmed that come when you don’t. So there’s discomfort both ways there too.

When it comes to posting on social media. If you are going to post like me, you might be forced to feel exposed and embarrassed. That’s what comes up when you put yourself out there publicly in front of other people for them to have opinions about whatever it is that you’re doing. So that’s the discomfort that comes from taking action.

But on the flip side, when you avoid feeling exposed and embarrassed, there’s also discomfort there too. You’ll probably have to feel disappointed or frustrated or maybe stuck that you’re not developing the business that you want to be developing. You’re not building a book. You’re not creating leverage for yourself in the future of your legal career, right. Discomfort both ways.

When it comes to weight loss, there’s feelings like deprived and bored that come from sticking to that meal plan and eating only certain foods that really support those goals that you have. Or on the flip side, you can eat whatever you want, but there’s discomfort associated with that too. You might have to feel dissatisfied or insecure with how you look when you don’t feel comfortable in your body. Right, discomfort both ways.

When it comes to applying for jobs. Yeah, you might have to feel rejected and discouraged if you don’t get that callback or you get told no. They don’t consider you for the position. They give it to someone else. But if you don’t continue to apply for jobs and you stay in your current position that you really can’t stand, you probably are going to have to feel uninspired, stuck, and maybe even hopeless, right? Discomfort both ways.

When it comes to starting your own firm, yeah. There’s going to be that uncertainty, that feeling of nervousness. Maybe some fear or worry about the future. What’s going to happen? That’s going to come up. It’s just part of the program. We like to tell ourselves that that’s the only type of discomfort, but that’s not true.

If you keep doing something that you don’t want to be doing instead, maybe you continue to stay working for other people. You might have to feel dejected, dispassionate, may be undervalued. So if you’re going to be a truth-teller, you want to make sure you’re telling yourself that there’s discomfort both ways there as well.

Now, if the truth of the matter is there’s always going to be discomfort both ways. The question I really want you to give some thought to is why not choose to experience the type of discomfort that also comes with your desired results?

If on one hand you’ve got taking action while feeling uncomfortable, and at the finish line of taking that intentional action, you get the results you want. That’s on one side. The other type of discomfort is the discomfort that comes from maintaining the status quo and not making a change where you don’t get the results you want. If there’s discomfort both ways, why wouldn’t you choose to experience the type of discomfort that produces the results you want?

I really want you to think about that as you contemplate whether you’re willing to give up your entitlement to comfort. I promise you if you do, the results will be more than worth it. Okay. All right. That’s our show. I hope you have a beautiful week. I’ll talk to you in the next episode.

Oh, and one more thing. If you enjoyed today’s show and don’t want to worry about missing an episode, be sure to follow the show wherever you listen to podcasts. If you haven’t already, I’d really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know what you think about The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast. It doesn’t have to be a five star review. Although I really hope you love the show. I really want your honest feedback so I can create an amazing podcast that provides you with a ton of value. Visit thelesstressedlawyer.com/podcastlaunch for step by step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review the podcast. I’ll talk to you guys soon.

Thanks for listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast. If you want more info about Olivia Vizachero or the show’s notes and resources from today’s episode, visit thelesstressedlawyer.com.

Enjoy the Show?

Episode 3: Creating a Life You’re Obsessed With: Taking Action

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero | Creating a Life You’re Obsessed With: Taking Action

In the last episode, I gave you the steps for figuring out exactly what you want for your life, and how to create a roadmap for reverse-engineering your results. Now, all that’s left to do is to start taking action towards these goals. However, I’m sure you realize by now, that’s easier said than done.

When you find yourself not taking action when, intellectually, you know what you need to do but you just can’t seem to get out of your own way, there’s only ever two things in your way: a negative thought, or a negative feeling you’re avoiding. This is keeping you stuck, but I’m here to get you moving in the right direction.

Tune in this week to discover how to start taking action toward creating a life you’re obsessed with. I’m sharing the next three steps in the process, so you can create more positive thought and emotion where possible, and I’m showing you how to cultivate the ability to take action regardless of the discomfort involved when these feelings persist.

If you enjoyed today’s show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know and help others find The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast. Click here for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • How the only thing stopping you from taking action is a negative thought or an uncomfortable feeling.
  • Why waiting for discomfort and fear to pass over will never allow you to move forward.
  • 3 questions to ask yourself to help identify your problem thoughts and limiting beliefs.
  • Why negative emotions aren’t anything to be afraid of, and where to find evidence that this is true.
  • How to start bridging the gap toward more positive thoughts that can guide you in creating a life you’re obsessed with.
  • Why you can’t swap your negative thoughts and emotions for positive ones overnight.
  • How to take action in spite of challenging thoughts and emotions.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

ou’re listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast episode three. We’re diving into the next three steps to creating a life you’re obsessed with. You ready? Let’s go.

Welcome to The Less Stressed Lawyer. The only podcast that teaches you how to manage your mind so you can live a life with less stress and far more fulfillment. If you’re a lawyer who’s over the overwhelm and tired of trying to hustle your way to happiness, you’re in the right place. Now, here’s your host, lawyer turned life coach Olivia Vizachero.

Hello, hello, hello. I am tempted to say good evening right now because I’m recording this episode in the evening. When I was in law school, I had this Torts  professor, and I haven’t mentioned it yet. I was an evening student in law school. I went to school at night. So, all of my classes were at night. And my professor, my Torts professor, used to start every single lecture with the phrase good evening. Usually, he would give us a double good evening.

So, he would say good evening, good evening, and then kick off into his lecture. I highly doubt he’s listening right now, but if he is Professor Long, hello to you. I don’t know if you guys have a professor that stands out to you more than others, but he was definitely one of them for me. He was the best at the Socratic method ahead of my first semester.

Anyway, good evening if that’s when you’re tuning into this episode. If it’s not good, insert whatever part of the day it happens to be where you are while you’re listening. Alright. And speaking of evenings and location, actually, I’m in Detroit. It’s finally the part of the year where you start to notice that the sunset is happening later and later in the evening and that winter is almost over.

And my friends, all I can say is good riddance. I am ready for it to be warm again. If you’re lucky and it’s warm wherever you’re listening from, I am envious, and I can’t wait for that warm weather to come to Detroit. Anyway, enough about evenings, law professors, and the weather. Let’s dive into today’s topic. In episode one, I gave you the foundation that you need to create a life you’re obsessed with.

I taught you to identify and own the choices you’ve previously made and are currently making that have created your current results. I talked about how to find your reasons for making those choices and decide whether or not you like them. If you don’t like those reasons if you don’t like your choices. If you don’t like the results you currently have, I gave you the first three steps to making the necessary changes to create a life you’re obsessed with.

I gave those to you in episode two. Specifically, I taught you to figure out what exactly you want. I went through figuring out why you want those things, and then I taught you how to reverse engineer those results. Alright. Once those results are reverse engineered, and you have that roadmap for how to create them, all that’s left to do is start taking action, but as you may find or maybe you’ve already found to be true, that tends to be easier said than done.

So, that’s going to be the focus of this episode. When you find yourself not taking action when intellectually you know what you need to do, but you just can’t seem to bring yourself to do it, that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. I’m going to teach you the last three things you need to do in order to overcome those obstacles. In order to get out of your own way so you can go on to create the life, you’re obsessed with.

Before I dive in and specifically discuss each of those last three steps, I need to explain something to you. As a rule of thumb, here’s what I need you to know the only two problems that are ever preventing you from creating those desired results are number one, a negative thought you’re currently thinking, or number two a negative feeling you’re unwilling to feel, and I’m going to give you a couple examples of this to further evidence this point, okay?

First one, let’s say you want to quit your job and start your own law firm? You figured out what you wanted. That’s step one. You’ve gone through it and identified your reasons. You’ve figured out your why, and you’ve decided that you know those reasons and you like them. And you’ve gone through, and you’ve reverse engineered that result by identifying all the things you need to do in order to create it.

You’ve created that roadmap to those desired results, but now you find that you’re not taking action. Okay? It’s either because of a thought you were thinking or because of a feeling that you’re unwilling to feel. You might be thinking something along the lines of I might not be able to do it on my own. When you’re thinking that way, you’re going to feel extremely uncertain, maybe worried too. When you feel uncertain and worried, your natural reaction is going to be to shut down, kind of abort the mission, to not take action, maybe to spin in decision and freeze, or you’re going to go and distract yourself with something else. Do something else in the interim.

More than anything, most likely, what you don’t do is move forward in spite of and despite that uncertainty. Despite and in spite of that worry, right? You don’t move forward. And that’s a problem, right? Because if you don’t move forward, you’ll never create that desired result. You’ll never start your own firm. You’ll never leave that job.

So, what’s the solution here? It’s one of two things or a combination of both of them. You’ve got to either change your thinking so you can reduce that negative emotion, you can eliminate that uncertainty or reduce that uncertainty, eliminate that worry or reduce that worry, and what this looks like would be perhaps instead of thinking that you might not be able to do it on your own, you choose to think the thought no matter what comes my way I’ll be able to figure it out.

And if you were thinking that way, you’re going to feel really determined. You’re going to feel really motivated. You’re going to feel really confident in your own abilities in your own resourcefulness. That’s going to put you in such a different mindset and drive you to take much different action than that uncertainty and that worry. Okay? Or what you need to do, and like I said, this is either an or, or an and, you either need to do this instead of changing your thought or in conjunction with changing your thought.

You need to allow yourself to feel uncertain and worried and move forward regardless, in spite of and despite that discomfort. I’ll give you one more example here. Perhaps, you want to take time off of work, and that would help you create the desired result of having more time for yourself, more time for travel, more time for family and friends, more time for hobbies, maybe you want to volunteer? Right? Whatever it is.

Even though you have the desire to take time off, your default way of thinking is, I shouldn’t take time off with everything I have on my plate. When you’re thinking that way, you feel super guilty, right? So many of my clients struggle with feeling guilty very often, and when you start to feel guilty, you run for the hills, right? You abort.

Again, you don’t take the time off. You don’t follow through with that roadmap to those desired results. You do what you’ve always done. You just work more. So, what’s the solution here? Well, you’ve either got to change the thought to reduce or eliminate the guilt. Perhaps, instead of thinking that you shouldn’t take time off, instead, you think, you know it’s okay for me to take time off. There’s always going to be more work for me to do, so now is as good of a time as any.

Instead of then feeling guilty, you’re going to start to feel maybe compassionate with yourself? Maybe loving toward yourself? Maybe understanding and that compassion, self-love, and understanding will drive you to take that time off, right? You’ve dialed down the guilt then, but maybe some of that should thinking is still lying under the surface. You can’t quite get rid of it completely.

So, what you’re also going to need to do is allow yourself to feel a little guilty and take the time off anyway, in spite of and despite the guilt. Those are two examples, and I wanted to give those to you so you can start to see this pattern. There are only ever two obstacles to creating a life you’re obsessed with, negative thoughts you’re thinking and negative feelings that you’re unwilling to feel.

That takes me to the next three steps of creating that life. When you find yourself not producing your desired results, not taking action, not following that road map, here’s what I want you to do. First things first, you’ve got to find your problem thoughts, and we’re going to go about this finding them in a few different ways. First, you want to identify your limiting beliefs. I want you to return to the eight sections of the life wheel that we discussed in episodes one and two, alright?

Those eight sections; are career, finances, health, friends and family, romance, personal growth, fun and recreation, and physical environment, right? You went through and identified what would make each of those sections a 10 on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest. Now you’ve gone through and created that reverse engineered road map that you would need to follow to create those 10s in each of those categories, right? You’ve gone and done that.

So, now I want you to identify your limiting beliefs about those results in each of those categories, and we start by asking yourself one simple question. Do you believe these results are possible? And I want you to just for a second separate yourself from the equation, alright. Do you think anyone can create these results, not you specifically, but just anyone in the world? If you think it isn’t possible to achieve these results, I hate to break it to you, but you will not take action to create them. That lack of belief is going to impact how you proceed. There’s no way around that, alright?

So, that’s going to be a problem thought that shuts you down before you ever get started if you believe that it’s not possible. And I’m going to teach you in an upcoming episode how to go from believing something is impossible to believing it’s inevitable. I’m going to walk you through how to build belief, but for now, we just want to become aware as to whether or not you think your desired results are possible. Whether they’re obtainable or they’re not, and if you think they aren’t, here’s what’s going to happen, you’re going to feel really defeated and discouraged. You’re going to give up before you ever get going.

So, if you think it’s impossible for your desired results to be created if you think they’re unattainable, I want you to write down why you think that’s true, start to make a list. Okay? Now, if you think it’s possible, I just want you to put a pin in that for a second. We want to turn the focus on to you specifically and identify any limiting beliefs you have about yourself and your ability to create these results.

So, ask yourself, do you think you’re capable of creating these results? If the answer is no, I want you to examine why not? Write down all of those reasons. Maybe you think you’re not smart enough to do something, and if that’s the case, you’re not going to pursue it. If you’re feeling inadequate, you won’t take action when you’re feeling that way.

So, just like with the last question, I want you to write down all of the limiting beliefs you might have about your own ability to create these desired results, to create 10s in each of these categories, okay? Write that down, and then set that list aside for a second, and we’re going to ask one more question. We will do one more inquiry.

Last, but not least, I want you to identify any other negative thoughts that you have about pursuing these goals and working toward these results, write them all down. They might look something like this is going to be so hard, or it’s going to take me way too much time. If you’re thinking those thoughts, you’re going to feel exhausted ahead of time and you’re going to feel really overwhelmed. When you’re feeling exhausted and overwhelmed again, you’re not going to take action. You’re going to shut yourself down before you ever get started.

So, you want to find all of these problem thoughts, right the limiting beliefs about what is possible, generally about what is possible for you and what you’re capable of, and any other negative thoughts that come up for you when you think about pursuing these goals and you want to identify them and you want to write them all down. All of those thoughts are the thoughts that are going to get in your way and keep you stuck.

They’re going to prevent you from creating that life you’re obsessed with, okay. Now, next to each of those thoughts, you’ve got a really long comprehensive list now. I want you to identify the one-word emotion you feel when you think each thought, okay? Our thoughts cause our feelings, and we’ll talk about this at nausea throughout the podcast, I promise you. I just want you for this exercise to go through and identify the one-word emotion you feel when you think each one of these negative thoughts.

And remember, if you’re thinking a negative thought, you’re going to feel a negative feeling. So, these feelings that you start to write down are going to be negative emotions. So, again just next to each thought, write down the negative emotion that comes up for you when you think about each one. Now, for this step which we’re still on, step four you’re going to go through and ask yourself for each one of these thoughts, these negative thoughts, what’s one positive thought I could choose to think instead? Alright?

Make that list, swap them out. Use those thoughts to fuel you. Use them to drive you to take action. If you think you can’t do it, you need to believe that you can. If you’re thinking that it’s going to be hard, you can think that you can figure it out instead. If you think it’s going to take too much time, you can choose to think I might as well get started now, and eventually I’ll get there, right?

If you think you’re not smart enough, you can choose to think that you will learn. If you think that you’re incapable, right? What do you need to think instead of that? You want to swap those thoughts out, and here’s why. If you’re thinking a positive thought, you’re going to feel a positive feeling. Then from there, you’ll start taking positive actions, and you’ll go on to produce positive results. So, I want you to come up with those positive thoughts and feelings and use them to motivate you into moving forward, alright?

So, give yourself some time to do that exercise, you can either pick one of the eight categories on the life wheel and walk all the way through it, or you can go through all eight, totally up to you. Now, an important caveat here, this work is twofold. Yes, changing your thinking is absolutely a game-changer when it comes to creating a life you’re obsessed with, 1000%. Okay?

But, that’s only half the equation because chances are even when you swap out some of those limiting beliefs and other negative thoughts with positive thoughts that will fuel you to take action, you’re still a human, and some of that negative thinking is going to linger, right? You’re not going to change it and swap it out overnight. Some of it’s going to remain.

So, it’s going to be hard for you to shake that, and if those thoughts linger, so will the negative emotions that you’ve experienced when you think them, the negative emotions that correspond to negative thoughts, and those negative emotions they’re a huge obstacle in your way to creating your desired results. Why? Because you avoid them like the plague, right? You don’t take action when you feel them, and the reason you don’t take action is, so you don’t have to feel them.

So, you get to avoid them, right? Now, that’s totally normal. That’s 1000% natural, but that natural reaction isn’t going to get you where you want to go, which brings me to step five. For step five of creating a life you’re obsessed with, you’ve got to identify the particular kind of discomfort you’re currently avoiding. Instead of avoiding it, you’ve got to allow it to be there. You’ve got to take action in spite of, and despite it, or as I the catchphrase that I use with my clients, you’ve got to gag and go through the discomfort. That’s what I always tell them.

As humans, we basically do backhand springs to avoid feeling uncomfortable, right? It’s actually an extinctual survival mechanism that’s hardwired into us. When you’re making changes or even thinking about making changes to create a life, you’re obsessed with your brain registers that change and perceives it as a threat. It perceives it as a danger because you’re changing or thinking about changing the status quo, and it knows the status quo to be safe.

Anything else isn’t; anything else that’s not the status quo is not safe. It’s just like the old adage the devil you know is the better than the devil you don’t, right? That’s your brain’s default way of thinking. Here’s the thing, though, the discomfort you’re avoiding it can’t actually hurt you. Sure, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s not a real threat. You’re not going to die if you experience a negative emotion, right?

You’ve survived. Think back throughout the course of your life. You’ve survived every negative emotion you’ve ever felt. You’ve survived every time you felt guilty, embarrassed, scared, worried, anxious, overwhelmed, confused, uncertain, inadequate, discouraged, disappointed, defeated, frustrated, annoyed, sad, regretful, doubtful, all of them, right? You’ve survived every single one of those every single time you’ve ever experienced them. Here’s the thing that past history goes to show those feelings can’t actually hurt you.

You’ll survive them, I promise. I like to tell my clients, yeah, it’s uncomfortable. You can do discomfort, so instead of avoiding them with inaction, here’s what you can choose to do. You can choose to feel them on purpose and take action in spite of and despite them. Will it be uncomfortable? Sure. You’ll probably want to vomit right, but that’s okay. Just gag and go through the discomfort. You’ll be just fine.

So, what does this look like if you’re feeling confused? Work through the confusion instead of giving up. If you’re feeling discouraged, press on despite feeling discouraged and take action anyway. If you’re feeling unsure of yourself, keep moving forward, right? If you’re feeling nervous about what the outcome will be, or maybe you feel scared, let the fear be there and keep going. It is okay to let it drive around in the passenger seat of the car next to you. You don’t have to let your discomfort drive that car.

You don’t have to let that discomfort determine where you end up, which is what most of us are doing when we operate on default. You can strap it into the passenger seat and go about your business, driving intentionally toward your desired results. Right, toward that life you’re obsessed with. It’s fine if that discomfort has to come along for the ride in the perfect world. It wouldn’t be there, but that’s just not the human experience you guys.

So, the discomfort is going to come along. We’re going to strap it in the passenger seat. Tell it to buckle up, and we’re going to go intentionally about creating our desired results. We’re going to drive to that desired destination. Okay?

Now, once you’ve done steps four and five, you’ve identified the problem thoughts. You’ve swapped them out with positive thoughts that are going to fuel you to take action. Then, for step five, you’ve identified those negative emotions that are getting in your way, and you decided to take intentional action that you identified in your reverse-engineered results road map.

You’re going to take intentional action in spite of and despite that discomfort. You might think you’re off to the races, okay? But there’s one more step left, so after you’ve gone through. You’ve taken the actions that you identified in step three, which I talked about in the last episode. You want to make sure you do this final crucial step. It’s what will ensure your success. It’s what will make that success inevitable, and that final step it’s to evaluate.

You’ve got to evaluate what you’ve been doing, and this is a really simple process. It’s not cumbersome. It’s not overwhelming. It’s really straightforward and simple. All you have to do is ask yourself three questions and answer them. What worked, what didn’t work, and what would you do differently? Now, we start with what works because our brain tends to default to the negative automatically.

So, we always want to start with what worked. We want to be truth-tellers and not just focus on what didn’t. So, we want to get equal airtime for both. We start with what works because that sets us up with a positive mindset before we move to what didn’t work, alright.

Now, when we move on to what didn’t work, we’re going to do a couple of things here. First and foremost, we’re going to operate from curiosity, not from judgment. If you’re judging yourself, you’re going to shut yourself down. You’re going to miss so much of this really beneficial intel you get when you operate from pure curiosity.

So, we’re not going to judge ourselves. We’re not going to beat ourselves up. We’re just going to get really curious about what didn’t work. Okay? Now, you’re going to look at your actions first. Identify all of the actions you took, which ones didn’t work, what tweaks might you want to make. Test your hypothesis here. Right?

I also want you to look at your thoughts. What thoughts were you thinking while you were taking the actions that didn’t work? How were you feeling when you were taking the action? If you’re thinking negative thoughts and feeling negative feelings and taking action, it’s going to impact the action you take. It’s going to taint it. Think of it like bad perfume or cologne. That negativity will infect what you’re doing, and it will impact how you’re showing up.

So, we want to find that too. We want to identify those problem thoughts and feelings and note them. We also want to note maybe there were some extra emotions that you didn’t identify in step five that you avoided instead of allowed. So, you want to make a note of that too. You’re going to put all of that under the what didn’t work section, alright?

So, identify all the actions that didn’t work, all the problem thoughts that didn’t work that weren’t serving you, and any feelings that you are unwilling to feel that you resisted and avoided instead of allowed. Then, from there, you’re going to move to the third part of the evaluation process. You’re going to figure out what you’ll do differently moving forward in order to fix what didn’t work, alright? And you want to be really specific here. The more specific, the better because again, just like in step three, you’re going to create a road map to move forward, right.

Follow the yellow brick road, so to speak. Then, what do you do from there after you’ve gone through what worked, what didn’t work, and what will you do differently? You just repeat that process by taking more action. Alright, act, audit, adapt, act, audit, adapt, you take action, you audit the action that you took by evaluating that three-step process I just taught you. Then you adapt, and once you’ve adapted through figuring out what you’d do differently, you go back to taking more action. Act, audit, adapt, alright?

So, those are the six steps. So, you have them all comprehensively here; the six steps you need to create a life you’re obsessed with are number one figure out what it is you want. Number two, figure out why you want it, know and like those reasons. Number three, reverse engineer your desired results and start taking action. And if you don’t start taking action, you want to turn to steps four, five, and six, okay?

Now, before jumping to steps four, five, and six, you want to remember there are only ever two problems, a thought you’re thinking or feelings you’re unwilling to feel. So, step four, you start by identifying your problem thoughts and replace those thoughts with thoughts that serve you. Then, if some of those negative feelings caused by those problem thoughts are still lingering, identify the specific flavors of discomfort, those specific feelings, and step five take intentional action in spite of and despite them, AKA gag and go.

And finally, evaluate what worked, what didn’t work, and what you’ll do differently moving forward, okay? Those are the six steps now you’ve got everything you need to go out into the world and create a life you’re obsessed with. Alright, have a marvelous week, my friends. I’ll talk to you in the next episode.

Oh, one more thing, if you enjoyed today’s show and don’t want to worry about missing an episode, be sure to follow the show wherever you listen to podcasts. If you haven’t already, I’d really appreciate it if you’d leave a rating and review to let me know what you think about The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast.

It doesn’t have to be a five-star review. Although, I really hope you love the show. I really want your honest feedback, so I can create an amazing podcast that provides you with a ton of value. Visit thelessstressedlawyer.com/podcastlaunch for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review the podcast. I’ll talk to you guys soon.

Thanks for listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast. If you want more info about Olivia Vizachero or the show’s notes or resources from today’s episode, visit thelessstressedlawyer.com.

 

Enjoy the Show?

Episode 2: Creating a Life You’re Obsessed With: Making the Plan

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero | Creating a Life You’re Obsessed With: Making the Plan

In the last episode, we talked all about why life is choices and how to bring awareness to the choices you’ve made, how they’ve created your life, and what you are ready to change. Well, in this episode, we’re taking it a step further and discussing how to take that foundation and use it to create a life you’re actually obsessed with.

Once you know what you don’t want, you have to decide what exactly it is you want for your future. Knowing what you want is truly the only way to start creating a life you love, so I’m taking the Life Wheel exercise we did in the last episode, and helping you figure out what would make each area of your life a 10/10, so you have something to work towards.

Tune in to this episode to discover the first three steps to creating a life you’re obsessed with. I’m sharing how to push past the uncertainty, confusion, and fear of deciding what would make you fall in love with your life, so you can start operating and reverse-engineering from a place of desire.

If you enjoyed today’s show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know and help others find The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast. Click here for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why not knowing exactly what you want only leads to unhappiness and discontent.
  • How to start figuring out what you truly want for your life in the future.
  • Where our brains try to protect us by trying to maintain the status quo.
  • 4 simple questions you can ask yourself to start moving out of the headspace of, “I don’t know…”
  • Why so many people who do know what they want don’t allow themselves to speak it.
  • The difference between operating from external pressure versus internal desire.
  • How to decide what you want and begin the work of reverse-engineering your desired results.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

You’re listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast, episode two. In this episode, I’m going to teach you the first three steps to creating a life you’re obsessed with. You ready? Let’s go.

Welcome to The Less Stressed Lawyer. The only podcast that teaches you how to manage your mind so you can live a life with less stress and far more fulfillment. If you’re a lawyer who’s over the overwhelm and tired of trying to hustle your way to happiness, you’re in the right place. Now, here’s your host, lawyer turned life coach Olivia Vizachero.

Hello, hello, hello. How are you? I am simply marvelous, and I hope you’re marvelous too. I’ve actually been saying that all week. I just got back home after attending ABA Tech Show in Chicago, which is a legal convention put on by the American Barr Association all for legal tech companies and lawyers who are into legal tech, looking for ways to simplify their practices. You guys, I had so much fun there meeting other people in that industry and different legal adjacent industries.

Just really so much fun, and I got to meet so many people who I’ve met over the past couple of years – who I’ve met virtually – I got to meet them in person, which was so amazing to get to see them face to face for the first time. I even got to meet two of my clients in person for the first time. I see them on Zoom because that’s the medium that I use to coach, but it was so amazing to see them in person, just absolutely marvelous.

So, I’ve been taking that marvelous theme with me into my week. So, I hope you all are marvelous, too. You know what else is marvelous? Today’s topic, last episode I talked all about how life is choices, and the reason it’s so important to start there and I explained this, why I started with that topic for episode one is that it brings so much awareness, and that awareness is really the precursor the foundation upon which we build a really intentional life. It’s the prep work for creating a life you’re obsessed with.

Now that you’ve done that prep work. You’ve created that foundation because you’ve gone through and identified the choices you’re making or have made in the past that have created your current results. You’ve decided you like those choices. You’ve understood your reasons why you made them, why you’re still making them, and you asked yourself do I like my reasons why. If you have decided that you don’t, and you know that you’re ready to make a change in your life to create that life you’re obsessed with, that’s what I’m going to teach you today.

We’re going to cover the first three steps to creating that life, okay? Alright, let’s dive in. The first step to creating a life you’re obsessed with is figuring out what you want. If you don’t identify the results you want to create, you won’t know how to create them. I want to teach you toward the end of this episode how to go about reverse engineering your desired results.

We’ve got to start with figuring out what you want because if you don’t figure that out first, if you don’t identify it very specifically, you’re going to find yourself pretty underwhelmed and dissatisfied or discontent throughout the course of your life. And this is why, when we don’t define where we want to go very explicitly, very specifically, our brain loves to do this adorable thing where it looks around and says, you know, I’m not sure what enough is, but it’s sure not this.

Then, you keep chasing the horizon, not quite sure what it is that you’re chasing, okay? And even if you’re pursuing what you want, when you fail to define it, you make it impossible to recognize it if and when you get there. So, you might have what you actually want. Still, if you haven’t decided ahead of time in a really explicit and specific way, you won’t be able to be satisfied with having what you want because you haven’t specified that it is, in fact, what you want.

So, that’s a long-winded way of saying we have to start figuring out what it is that you want to start creating a life that you’re obsessed with. Now, I want to give you a quick refresher. In the last episode, I introduced you to a tool that I use with my clients. It’s called the life wheel, and if you go back to episode one in the show notes there, you can get a link to the life wheel worksheet. You can use that, download it, fill it out and go through the exercise in episode one to again lay that foundation.

To give you a refresher, the life wheel is made up of eight separate categories, kind of like a pie. The eight categories are your career, finances, health, friends, and family, that’s one category, romance, personal growth, fun, and recreation, again, that’s one category, and then the eighth category is your physical environment, which just means the area in which you spend your time. Your office, your home, your car, where you live, that type of environment. Okay?

In episode one, you went through, and you rated your satisfaction in each of those areas of your life, and you rated them on a scale of 1-10. Ten being the highest. We’re going to use that again today as a reference, that life wheel, in order to help us create a life you’re obsessed with. So, I want you to start by thinking about those eight areas, go through each one, and figure out what would make each area a 10, and I want you to be very specific here.

Go through each category. What would make your career a 10? What would make your finances a 10 best case scenario? What would make your health a 10? What would make friends and family a 10? Or romance a 10, personal growth, how about that? Fun and recreation, what makes that a 10 for you? Physical environment, what does a 10 look like there, okay?

I want you to go through each one, and it’s okay if you pause this and you take some time to think through this and do it, or you can come back to this later, but make a list of what makes each of those areas a 10. Now, your brain’s kneejerk reaction here might be to say I don’t know. That’s super common, and when you’re thinking, I don’t know. When you’re thinking, I don’t know what I want, you’re going to feel really confused, and then you’re going to do 1 of 2 things.

You’re either going to indulge in, I don’t know, thinking and stay stuck. You’re just going to spin in that not knowing, or you’re going to stop thinking about this entirely and move onto something else because feeling confused is super uncomfortable for most people. So our natural inclination is to escape that discomfort by doing something else that allows us to avoid it. It might be grabbing a snack, grabbing your phone, or scrolling through social media. Whatever it is, you’re just going to jump out of that discomfort and distract yourself with doing something else.

So, those are the two ways that we respond when we’re stuck in thinking I don’t know. Here’s what I want to offer you about that, even though you’re telling yourself you don’t, you do know, alright. And you might want to start arguing with me, but I want to explain something to you. The reason your brain is serving you up the thought I don’t know is because it’s trying to protect you.

Your brain thinks that the safe thing to do here is to maintain the status quo, to keep maintaining the parts of your life that you don’t love. The parts of your life that you’re merely tolerating. It protects the status quo by offering you the thought I don’t know. It’s throwing it at the wall like spaghetti to see if it sticks so it can keep you safe and comfortable because when you do know. When you identify what it is that you do want, right then the next step is actually to pursue what it is you want, and that requires making a change.

Your brain perceives change as a danger. Alright, so it gives you a kneejerk reaction, I don’t know, and it hopes that you just run with that answer and do either of the two things I just mentioned. Right? So, what I want you to do is just recognize that the I don’t know is a kneejerk reaction and just hold belief for yourself that deep down, you really do know, okay?

So, from there, I want you to push past that initial answer. I want you to work through the confusion and come up with an answer for each of these eight categories. What is it in each category that you want? What would make each category a 10? Now, if you still feel sort of stuck with this, I’m going to give you a few questions I use with my clients to help them flush out what it is that they want and to move past that initial I don’t know thinking, okay?

The first question is, most of my clients candidly hate this question, but it always works. So, the question is, what would you say if you did know? Right. And their brain’s again going to, but I don’t know, and then I just repeat it back. What would you say if you did? And to show evidence that your brain is just serving you up this kneejerk reaction, it is incredible. People always come up with an answer.

When you push yourself to come up with something, your brain will give you a different answer than I don’t know. Alright? Another way to get at this is to ask yourself what would you say you wanted if you had to guess, right? When you ask that question, you give yourself permission to not have the “right answer” but to just take a guess. So, it removes a lot of the pressure, and you’re able to come up with an answer other than I don’t know.

Another one of my favorite questions here is, what would you say that you wanted if you didn’t care about what other people would think? So often, we are so preoccupied with other people’s opinions. That preoccupation really blocks us from being able to access what it is that we truly want. So, again, what would you say if you didn’t care about what other people would think?

Then, the last question I love to ask here is what would you say that you wanted if you believed that the world was your oyster and that anything was possible? I’m going to talk more about limiting beliefs in the next episode. Still, I love addressing this point here and asking this question because if you just deleted or put the limiting beliefs on the shelf for just a second, what would you want? What would come to your mind if you truly believed that anything was possible? Okay.

So, I want you to go through those four questions and see what comes up for you when you answer them, alright? And if you’re still struggling to answer what you want in each of these eight categories, I just want to offer you this. Deep down, you know, but you don’t want to say it out loud, either, because the truth scares you. Like, you don’t like the answer, you’re kind of afraid to admit it to yourself, or you don’t think it’s possible. Again, we’re going to talk about the possibility and limiting beliefs in the next episode.

I just want to go through really quickly and say it’s okay to be scared. Through the course of this podcast, I’m going to teach you to overcome fears like that and move through them to create a life you’re obsessed with. It’s also okay if you think getting what you want is impossible right now. If you don’t want to admit what you want to yourself because you don’t want to be disappointed by the impossibility of it.

Again, I just want you to watch your brain. It’s your brain trying to protect you from feeling the discomfort of the disappointment that would come from not being able to get what you want because of the impossibility of it all. But whatever you want, it is totally possible. I’m going to teach you again through the course of this podcast how to build the belief that it is, and I’m going to teach you how to reverse engineer what it is you want so you can get it.

Lastly, I also want you to remember you don’t have to share what you want with anyone else. Right? No one else needs to know. You don’t have to tell a single person. You just have to tell yourself. So, I want you to remind yourself that it’s totally safe for you to be radically candid with yourself here, alright? It’s safe for you to tell yourself what it is that you want, no matter what those wants are.

So, go through the life wheel, go through those eight categories and identify, just answer that question, what is it that I want? What would make each category a 10? Okay, now for step two, step two is figuring out your why. So, for each of the eight categories, I want you to go through and answer this question. Ask yourself why do I want this? And we’re asking this question for two distinct reasons.

First, we want to figure out whether or not you’re pursuing these end goals because of external pressure or internal desire. Wanting something because of external pressure looks like wanting it because it’s what society approves of; it’s what’s socially acceptable. It’s what other people think that you should do. What they find impressive or what they want for you. Maybe it looks good on paper.

Basically, it’s what other people might consider prestigious or successful, right? They have an idea of what’s right and wrong, and they think it’s what’s right for you. That’s external pressure. Pursuing something and wanting something because of internal desire looks like wanting something for yourself because you’re passionate about having it in it itself, for yourself. Where you pursue it outside of any external validation that you receive for pursuing it or having it.

It’s genuine, authentic desire, and that’s what you want to make sure you’re operating from. You want to make sure you’re operating from that internal desire because, at the end of the day, only the latter will fulfill you. So, you want to check in with yourself. You want to ask yourself do I want this because of external pressure, or do I genuinely want it because I have an internal desire for it? Okay.

A great way to identify whether you’re operating from external pressure or internal desire is to ask yourself this question. Would I want this if I didn’t care about other people’s opinions? And if the answer is no, you’re likely operating from external pressure, not internal desire. So, you want to check in, and you might want to make a change there, okay?

The second reason I want you to ask yourself this question is because it’s so important to always know and like your reasons for wanting something. One, because, like I just said, you might want to make a change, but more importantly, knowing and liking your reasons makes you far more likely to take the necessary steps toward creating those results. It’s not always going to be comfortable taking those steps, and I’m going to talk more about how to work through that discomfort in the next episode.

When you get really clear on your why and love your reason why you want whatever you want, you’re going to be so much more likely to wade into that discomfort, work through it, and overcome it. So, you want to make sure you ask yourself why do I want this. Now, I want to add one caveat here if you’re pursuing something because of external pressure. You identify that’s your reason that it’s an external pressure, and that’s why you’re pursuing it. You still have agency to decide.

You get to decide if you like that reason if you think that’s a good enough reason for pursuing it. And you can decide that you do like that reason. That choice is always available to you. I’ve found with myself and with my clients that in order to create a life that you’re truly obsessed with, you probably don’t want to be operating from external pressure. You want to be pursuing your desired results based on internal desire, not that pressure.

But, you can still choose to like that reason if you want to. That being said, if your end goal is not to appease other people or not to impress other people or not to gain their approval, right? If your desire, if your end goal is to create a life, you are obsessed with. You find out that you’re currently operating and pursuing results based on external pressure; those things are going to be incongruent.

So, if that’s your end goal to create a life, you’re truly obsessed with it, maybe time to reassess and make a change. So, again, you want to go through what would you want if you were operating from an internal desire, get really clear on that, and then once you do, we can move on to step three. Now, step three to creating a life you’re obsessed with is that you start to reverse engineer your desired results.

So, we’ve gotten really clear on what it is that you want. We’re also at this point very clear on the reasons why you want those results, and now we’re going to reverse engineer them, and we do that by working backward. Working backward, what that does is it gives us clarity as to exactly what we need to do to get to where we want to go.

So, I want you to be really specific here and go through each of the eight categories. For each one, you’re going to identify those results you want in your life, and you’re going to list out all of the actions you need to take to create them. Again, I want you to be extraordinarily specific here. You can also list out what you need to not do. Let me give you an example of that.

If you were trying to become debt-free, that was one of the results you were trying to create, you might need to one of the actions that you would take to create that result you might need to save a certain amount of money each month out of your paycheck or out of the money that you make and contribute that toward your debt, toward paying it off, right? And what you might need to not do is you might not need to overspend, right.

You might need to tone it down on the Amazon Prime add to carts or buy it now’s okay. If you’re wanting to improve your relationship with friends, family, partner, or spouse, you might want to set aside specific times where you see them and spend quality time with them. Something you may need to not do is not cancel at the last minute because of work.

So, you’re going to thoroughly identify for each of these eight categories the detailed actions that you would need to take, the things you would need to do and the things you would need to not do to produce your desired results. In doing this, what we’re doing is we’re creating a very specific road map to arriving at those results, alright? Now, as you do this, as you flush out the specific actions that you need to take and the things you need to not do, I also want you to ask yourself what obstacles might get in my way from obtaining these results?

For each obstacle that you identify, that’s presenting as a roadblock on the roadmap. I love a good iteration, you guys, bear with me. But, for each obstacle that you identify, what you’re going to do is you’re going to come up with a strategy for that obstacle. You’re going to work it into the roadmap. So, you’re going to add that to the action plan for creating those results. I’m going to talk in the next episode about really cultivating the mindset for this as well. Still, the first step in reverse engineering your desired result is just coming up with the action plan.

Identify all of the action items that you need to have, that you need to put in place, that you need to follow in order to create your desired results. So, what does this look like in practice? Let’s use the romance category as an example here, alright? Maybe one of the things that you want is to establish a deeper relationship with your partner, and you want to spend more quality time with them. Alright?

What do you need to do in order to create that result? Maybe you need to put your phones away at the end of the night. Maybe you need to schedule a date night once a week? Maybe you need to go on vacation once a quarter, just the two of you. Right? Those might be some of the specific action items that you would build in the roadmap to those results.

Now, if you were to ask yourself what obstacles might prevent us from doing those things? One obstacle might be work, so you need to come up with a strategy of how you, maybe you make some decisions ahead of time on when you’ll check your phone at night. So you still have that carved-out time to spend with one another distraction-free. Maybe you need to find a sitter and a backup sitter in order for you to carve out and really protect and honor that date night every week.

For vacations, if you need someone to watch your kids, maybe you need to trade with a family member who also has young children. You each go on different weekends on kind of a getaway. So, we each agree to watch each other’s kids. Maybe that’s a conversation you need to have. Maybe you can ask your parents or someone, right?

Again, you just want to identify the obstacles that would prevent you from creating those desired results or from taking some of the actions that you’ve already identified. You want to build strategies to overcome those obstacles into the results roadmap. Another example of this would be if you were trying to vacation, and one of the obstacles is that work keeps getting in the way, right?

So, you’re going to come up with a strategy on how to overcome that. Maybe you team up with another one of your colleagues, and you agree to cover each other’s workflow and be responsive. Maybe you need to train someone on your team to be able to fill in for you in a really comprehensive way so that you don’t have to be on call, constantly checking your email, responding to email, and putting out “fires,” okay?

You’re just going to identify those obstacles and come up with a strategy for each one and include that in the action plan to reverse engineer those results. Once you’ve done this for each of the eight categories for career, finances, health, friends and family, romance, personal growth, fun and recreation, and your physical environment. Once you’ve gone through and created your roadmap and figured out exactly what steps you need to take to get you where you want to go in each one of those areas of your life, it’s time to take action. Right?

You’ve got the roadmap. You know what you need to do, so it’s time to get moving. It’s time to put the plans into place and to start following that roadmap. Now, as you hear me say that, you might find yourself starting to hesitate. You might find yourself thinking, yeah, Olivia, but that’s the hard part. And if that’s you, if you find yourself starting to slip into inaction, starting to indulge in the, I don’t knows again. Like, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know where to get started, I don’t know how to move forward.

If you find yourself starting to spin in a little bit of that paralysis. If after walking through that exercise and figuring out what you want and road mapping those results, you feel like, well, you know, I know what I need to do, but I’m just not doing it. If that’s you, I’m going to talk all about that in the next episode. I’m going to explain exactly why that happens, why we encounter situations where we know what we “need to do,” but we’re just not taking action.

I’m going to explain exactly why that is. What’s holding you back, what’s causing you to freeze up. There are only ever two problems. I’m going to explain them both. You’re going to gain a complete understanding of this habit of yours, about knowing what you need to do but not doing it. Then, I’m going to teach you how to work through it to create these results that you’ve identified that you wanted, okay. To create a life, you’re obsessed with. I’m going to teach you all of that. Alright, so head on over to the next episode, and we’re going to dive so much deeper into those two problems, into those two issues. I’m going to teach you how to overcome them.

Oh, and one more thing if you enjoyed today’s show and don’t want to worry about missing an episode, be sure to follow the show wherever you listen to podcasts. If you haven’t already, I’d really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know what you think about The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast.

It doesn’t have to be a five-star review, although I really hope you love the show. I really want your honest feedback, so I can create an amazing podcast that provides you with a ton of value. Visit thelessstressedlawyer.com/podcastlaunch for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review the podcast. I’ll talk to you guys soon.

Thanks for listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast. If you want more info about Olivia Vizachero or the show’s notes and resources from today’s episode, visit thelessstressedlawyer.com.

Enjoy the Show?

Episode 1: Life Is Choices

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero | Life Is Choices

Life is ChoicesIf you’re struggling with overwhelm, indulging in avoidant behavior, and burned out, even if it seems from the outside like you have it all together, and you’re ready to make a change, you’re in the right place. This podcast is here to help you gain awareness of what’s driving your current behavior, why it feels so uncomfortable, and how to take the actions that will transform your personal and professional life forever.

Your life is a product of the choices you’ve made and continue to make every day. If you want to transform your life into one you love, the first step is taking responsibility for these decisions. And that’s exactly what we’re doing in this first episode of The Less Stressed Lawyer. This concept totally changed my own life, and if you listen closely, the same is possible for you too.

Tune in this week to discover a new perspective on your whole life. I’m sharing a concept I like to call Life Is Choices, and I’m showing you how to break down each aspect of your current reality, and decide for yourself what’s working, what’s not, and how you’re going to start changing it.

If you enjoyed today’s show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know and help others find The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast. Click here for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review!

What You’ll Learn from this Episode:

  • Why awareness is absolutely everything.
  • My exercise for gaining awareness about what you actually think about the different aspects of your life.
  • Where so many people choose to blame the world, other people, and outside circumstances for the life they have.
  • Why all of the things you have or experience in your life are the result of choices you’ve made.
  • How I was stuck in a life of victimhood and blame during my time in Big Law, until I realized that Life is Choices.
  • What you can do to uncover the reasons behind the choices you’ve made, and take control of your choices in the future.

Listen to the Full Episode:

Featured on the Show:

Full Episode Transcript:

Welcome to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast episode one. In this episode, I’m going to teach you how to set the foundation for creating a life you’re obsessed with. It starts with identifying and owning the choices you’ve made and continue to make that are leading to your current results. You ready? Let’s go.

Welcome to The Less Stressed Lawyer. The only podcast that teaches you how to manage your mind so you can live a life with less stress and far more fulfillment. If you’re a lawyer who’s over the overwhelm and tired of trying to hustle your way to happiness, you’re in the right place. Now, here’s your host, lawyer turned life coach Olivia Vizachero.

Hello, hello, hello. You guys, I am so excited to kick off episode one. This podcast has been a long time in the making, and I’m so excited to finally bring it to life. I always tell people that a podcast episode changed my life, and I know that might sound super cheesy, but it’s 1000% true. I hope that the content and concepts that I will share with you over the eventual hundreds of episodes that I record change your life as well.

I’m so excited to take what you’ve learned, apply it, and transform your life. And I’m excited to hear about those transformations if you choose to share them with me via email or social media. It’s one of my favorite parts about my job, hearing about the breakthroughs and amazing transformations people have once they start applying these coaching concepts and tools to their everyday lives.

So, long story short, I’m just excited across the board. Okay? Now, short side note, you know who isn’t excited right now? My cats, Snickers and Bear. I am recording this episode in the evening from my home office, and you guys they have reached their limit on me being in here today, and they are letting it be known.

So, I had to close the door, so they couldn’t jump on the desk and mess with my microphone. Hopefully, they won’t give me too hard of a time. Still, Snickers likes to loudly meow to express her displeasure, so I’m sure one of these days, you’ll hear her in the background. Hopefully not today, though, but we’ll see.

Anyways, welcome; I’m so excited for this episode, not just because it’s the first episode but because of what I’ve decided to teach you today. I’ve been known to be sentimental at times. In accordance with that tendency, as I was thinking about what I wanted to teach you in episode one, I decided to teach you the first coaching concept I ever learned. The concept that totally changed my life, but before we dive into that, I want to go over a few things.

First, I want to give you a little background on me. I’ll spare you the war and peace version of how when I was eight, I decided I wanted to be a criminal defense attorney for the Italian Mafia. That’s a story for another day. But, long story short, I followed my dream, and I eventually became an attorney. I worked in criminal defense for a while. I also worked in big law doing complex commercial litigation.

While I was in big law, I found coaching through a podcast like I mentioned earlier, and once I learned about coaching, I really fell in love with this work. I knew that I could help other people transform their own lives like I had done myself by applying those coaching concepts and tools. So, I knew I wanted to become a coach. I knew I wanted to help attorneys who are over the overwhelm, and that’s how we got here. Alright, that’s a little bit about me.

Now, the second thing I want to talk about. Who is this podcast for? This podcast is designed to serve three specific groups of people. Okay. You might identify with one specific group in particular. The first group of people that this podcast will serve are the people who are really struggling and almost at a point of paralysis with the overwhelm.

So, they are almost nonfunctioning, really indulging in a lot of avoidant behavior. They feel so anxious and so stressed that they’re not able to get through anything on their to-do list. They’re people-pleasing, perfectionism, and procrastination tendencies are really causing them to have terrible days on a pretty regular basis. If that’s you, I’ve got you. We are going to get you on the right track, and I’m going to teach you how to start taking action in spite of and despite of a lot of discomforts that you’re experiencing.

I’m going to teach you how to dial down that discomfort, so you feel so much better on a daily basis. So, if that’s you and you’re really struggling with feeling burned out and not hitting those metrics that you want to be hitting in your professional and personal life, I’ve got you. Okay? The second group of people that this podcast is for, the over workers who, from the outside, seemingly have it all together, but behind the scenes, they’re running around like a chicken with their heads cut off. Right?

So, they are running around spinning all the plates, trying to keep anything from falling, but it’s exhausting. They’re very reactive. They’re not proactive. What they’re doing on a daily basis feels really unintentional, and you feel like the world is about to come crashing down on you. I’ve got you too, okay? And then the third group of people that this podcast is going to serve are the folks that are doing pretty well, but they still want to take their success their life to the next level.

So, whether you’re in the paralysis group, whether you’re in the running around like a chicken with your head cut off barely keeping it together group, or things look pretty good, and you feel like you’ve got a good handle on where you are in life. Still, you want to go even further to really create a life that you’re obsessed with. We’re going to talk about all of it. I’ve got you covered.

Now, third, I just gave you a brief overview of what we’ll be covering throughout this podcast, okay? The one thing I want you to know is that what you’re going to get from tuning in every week, you’re going to get a crazy amount of awareness. And every single strategy, you need to change the parts of your life that you don’t love. You’ll gain a comprehensive understanding of the true cause of all of your negative feelings and any negative actions that you take, that you don’t like, that don’t serve you, and inaction too.

You know that spinning and not getting things done, the worry, kind of being in your own head, second-guessing yourself. You’ll get awareness as to what’s driving all of that. You’re going to learn how to work through that discomfort and take action in spite of and despite it. And here’s the other thing, we’re going to talk about all things, personal and professional, because you’ll hear me say this a ton over the course of this podcast, but how we do one thing is how we do everything.

You already know this, but I’ll say it anyway, your personal life affects your professional life, and your professional life affects your personal life. They bleed into one another. So, we’re going to cover it all. Okay. Now that we’ve covered all of that let’s dive into today’s topic. I’m calling it, Life is Choices. Okay?

I want to start by walking you through one of my favorite exercises. It’s called the life wheel, and the reason I love this exercise is because of the awareness it provides, okay? You’ll hear me say this a million times throughout the podcast, but awareness is absolutely everything. So, here’s how we start with this exercise. I want you to go get a piece of paper and draw a big circle on it, or you can go to the show notes. You’ll find a link to the page on my website for this podcast episode, and I’ll give you guys a copy of the life wheel worksheet that you can download and use for this exercise.

If you don’t want to stop what you’re doing right now, just grab a piece of paper, any piece will work, and draw a big circle on it, okay? Then, divide that circle into eight different sections just like a pie, okay? One section for each of the following categories:

  1. Career
  2. Finances
  3. Health
  4. Family and Friends
  5. Romance
  6. Personal Growth
  7. Fun and Recreation
  8. Physical Environment

I’m going to repeat those just in case I was talking too fast. I have a tendency to do that. Okay, career, finances, health, family and friends, romance, personal growth, fun and recreation, and physical environment?

So, those are the eight different categories. For each category, I want you to give it a rating on a scale of 1-10. Now, we’re not ranking these okay. We’re rating them. So, on a scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest, I want you to rate your level of satisfaction in each of these areas of your life, okay?

For my overthinkers out there, I do not want you to spend a lot of time overthinking and second-guessing your ratings. Whatever the first number that pops into your mind is for each category, pick that. Go with that gut reaction. That’s what we want to use here, okay? Now, after you’ve rated each category, I want you to think about what would make each category a ten. What would the ideal be in each of those categories? This is just a side note because sometimes people get confused about the last one.

For physical environment, I mean where you spend your time. So, that might be your home. It might be your car. It might be your office if you’re not working from home and still go into the office? So, just wherever you spend your time physically, okay? Now, one thing I notice when people complete this exercise is that they’re a little surprised by their numbers.

Oftentimes their ratings aren’t as high as they would hope that they would be, and if that’s you, that’s totally okay. Through the course of this podcast, we’re going to address all of the issues causing your current ratings to be what they are so we can get you closer to being tens across the board. Before we do that, I’ve got to let you in on a harsh truth about your current ratings. You’re choosing all of your current ratings.

I don’t mean you’re choosing what numbers you give those categories, each of those eight categories, of course, you’re making that choice, right? What I actually mean here is that you are choosing your current results. Whatever makes each category the number that you rated it, you’re choosing those results. Here’s the thing: every single thing that you have and everything you don’t have in your life is the result of a choice you’ve made.

So, I want you to think about these eight categories and the number you’ve rated each one. I want to explain to you how you’ve got to have those results. How you got where you are right now, okay? You made a choice, intentional or unintentional, that created your current results. Choices that created the status quo, and here’s the bigger kicker you keep choosing status quo. Every single day that you don’t choose to make a change, you’re choosing your current life and current results.

So often, people fall victim to the belief that their life is happening to them. Maybe that’s you. Maybe you think your life is happening to you. You’re just at the effect of your circumstances that everything is outside your control. It’s just all happening to you, but it isn’t you guys. You’re choosing all of it. You’re choosing to maintain the status quo. You’re choosing not to change it.

What’s the problem with thinking your life is happening to you? Well, there are a couple. First, you feel completely helpless and out of control, which candidly feels awful, okay? You disempower yourself and keep tolerating a life you don’t love because you’re under this faulty assumption that your life is happening to you and don’t have a say. You think it just is what it is, and I know people hate that phrase, but if you think that everything is just happening to you, that’s really the mental framework and the state that you’re in, okay?

And chances are, if that is where your head is at right now, you’re also in a state of blame, thinking that your life is happening to you. You are blaming other people. You’re blaming the world. You’re blaming other circumstances for your life rather than taking ownership and really accepting your agency and autonomy here for having what you have and not having what you don’t have.

When you’re in that state of blame, you stay stuck unnecessarily. You create a barrier to change. I remember when I first learned this concept that life is choices, that we’re choosing all of our current results, and man was this concept news to me. My brain practically exploded when I learned about it. Let me give you some backstory and if there’s one thing you’re going to learn about me through the course of this podcast is that I love a good backstory.

So, the first time that I learned everything we have in our lives is the result of a choice we’ve made and continued to make was a few months into my stint in big law. There I was hating my job, really confused honestly about how I wound up there. So, I had always wanted to be a criminal defense attorney ever since I was a kid. I find myself in big law doing complex commercial litigation, definitely not what I was interested in, what I was passionate about, and what I thought I was going to do. I was in such a state of victimhood and blame.

Aside from the money and the prestige of the job, there was really nothing that I liked about that role, but I ended up there. And I found myself really confused as to how that happened. The story I was telling myself was that I had been forced to take that job. I very much felt like that happened to me. That I wasn’t choosing it. That I didn’t choose it. That I was forced and pushed to take that job. That I sort of fell into it. That was the narrative that I had at the time, and I hear that from some of my clients all of the time now.

They’re like, I don’t know how I ended up here. It feels like their life is just happening to them, like I mentioned earlier, and that was definitely me in this moment of my life. I felt like life was happening to me that I just stumbled into this position, and I felt like I had been pushed by people in my life who had really strong opinions about me taking this job. It was a ton of money and many quote-on-quote financial security and stability. It looked good on paper, and people had strong opinions about my decision to say yes or no to that role.

I very much felt like I didn’t have a say in the matter that my friends and family, specifically my parents, really didn’t understand what I was passionate about and what my dreams and desires were for my legal career. I felt like they had forced me to take that job. So, as I was in this state of despair, I got this brilliant idea to start my own business because I didn’t want to give up the money that I was making in big law. Still, I wanted to go back and practice criminal defense, and at the time, I just didn’t think I could make that amount of money doing criminal defense work.

I now have totally changed my thesis on that. I definitely think it’s possible to make just as much, but at the time, I didn’t. So, I embarked on this entrepreneurial venture to come up with a business, build the business, and really like bankroll my big law salary so I could leave and go do whatever it is that I wanted to do. Little did I know that was going to lead me to coaching, which is amazing. It’s ultimately how I wound up here. Still, at the time, I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do, and I just started binging entrepreneurial content.

As I did through going down a rabbit hole, I stumbled upon a podcast, Brooke Castillo’s The Life Coach School podcast. I always tell the people the message that you need to hear has a way of finding you if you choose to listen to it and keep your ears open for it. And the first episode of hers that I ever listened to was about this concept life is choices. She basically smacked you on the forehead and alerted you to the fact that everything you have or don’t have in your life is the result of the choice that you’re making.

And she very specifically called me out through the podcast episode to say, hey, that job that you have that you hate, news flash, you chose it. I was like, what? Excuse me, no, I didn’t. I was forced into this. I got pushed into it by people in my life, right who didn’t understand me, my hopes, my dreams, desires. I got pushed into being here, and she is like, with love, I want to offer you that’s not true. I want to offer you that you chose to be exactly where you are. Again, the big kicker here is that you keep choosing it every single day. I said this a few minutes ago, you guys, my brain exploded, and it’s like being in the Matrix.

I think where you see everything that’s actually going on, I started to look back and rewind the tape at all of the choices I had made to end up in that position in that moment, right? None of it was unintentional. None of it was happening against my will or without me exercising my agency. Right? I had chosen all of it. I chose to go out for on-campus interviews. I chose to attend my call-back interview. I chose to accept the offer for a summer associate position. I chose to complete my summer there.

When they gave me an offer for a full-time position, I chose to accept it. I chose to take the Barr exam and then to start thereafter. I took the Barr, right? All of those decisions I made, alright? Then, the kicker, I continued to choose it every single day. No one was putting a gun to my head in the morning when I chose to go and show up at the office every day. I was making like 25 decisions on a daily basis, choosing that job, choosing the status quo every single day, even though I didn’t like it, even though it wasn’t what I quote on quote wanted to be doing, or at least that was the story I was telling myself.

Here’s the thing that’s so important about recognizing that you’re choosing your current results and choosing your status quo that you’re not pleased with. When you accept and acknowledge that you have made the choices that have created your current results, you get access to the question of why. When you’re in a state of blame, very much believing that your life is happening to you against your will, you don’t get access to the question of why.

Everything feels outside of your control. You think that it just is what is that you’re living at the effect of your circumstances that you don’t have any control right? This isn’t actually the case. You are making a choice, but when you’re in that state of blame, you can’t ever get access to your reasoning if you think it’s happening against your will, that you’re not choosing it. When you own that you’ve made a choice and continue to make choices to create your current results, you get access to your reasoning for making those choices, from making those decisions.

When I woke up to the truth that I had chosen this job and that I was continuing to choose it every single day, I got access to my reasoning. And I want to separate this into two separate buckets. Why did I originally choose that job, and why did I continue to choose to show up there every single day. They have similar reasons, but they’re not identical, so we’re going to take each one in turn.

Here’s the ugly answer that I had to come to terms with. As you think about your own choices and the decisions you’ve made and continue to make to create your current status quo, your current results, I want you to be radically candid with yourself. No one else has to know your reasons other than you. Still, when you recognize that you have made choices to create your current results, you just want to be as brutally honest as possible. We’re going to operate from curiosity here, not from judgment.

For me, my radically candid answer was that I cared way more about what other people thought of my decisions and life choices than I cared about pursuing what I was passionate about with following my dream. I cared more about other people’s approval of doing the quote-on-quote responsible thing than I did trusting my gut and listening to my own instincts, okay? That’s why I ended up taking the job that looked good on paper. That was prestigious and quote-on-quote financially secure, right? I cared way more about having my parents’ approval and having the approval of close friends and other family members. That’s what I cared about more. And I didn’t want them to feel disappointed in my decision.

So, I cared more about their emotional experience regarding my decisions than I did my own emotional experience. So, that’s the first bucket. Then, there’s the reasoning of why I continued to choose that job every single day when I didn’t care for it, right? Again, my preoccupation or concern with what people would think of me walking away from the money and prestige, so that was part of it. I also had a hang-up about thinking that other people, colleges of mine, would think that I couldn’t hack it.

So, I didn’t want to feel embarrassed or judged by them. So, these were the reasons that I made the choice in the first place and continued to make it. When you really sit back and examine that, you get access to what your reasons are, and you get to decide whether or not you will like your reasons, right? For me, I didn’t like those reasons, and also you start to recognize this is going to be really problematic throughout the course of your life if you keep making decisions based on what other people are going to think about your choices rather than you following your true desires and what you want to do.

So, when you own that you are making these decisions and you get access to the question of why and you identify your reasons no matter how uncomfortable they are, no matter how ugly your reasons might be, you get to then decide, do I like my reasons? And when I went through this process, my answer was a resounding no. Of course, I don’t like these being my reasons for choosing this job, right?

Great reasons to choose a job and continue to choose a job are I’m so passionate about the work that I do. I love the environment that I get to work in. I love the people that I work with. I feel like I make a meaningful impact on the world. Those are great reasons to choose a job. My reasons weren’t anything like that, right? My reasons were I  care more about other people’s opinions than I do following my dream. I was doing it because it was the responsible thing to do or the thing that looked good to other people.

I didn’t like those reasons, so once I identified what my reasons were, I got to decide if I liked them and if I wanted to keep making the same choices based on that reasoning. So, in that moment, I essentially had two options, I could continue to make the same choice for the same reasons, the reasons I didn’t like, or I could make a different choice. In that moment, I decided what was right for me. I decided to make a different choice, an empowered choice.

That’s what I want you to do today. I want you to identify your reasons for choosing all of your current results, and I want you to decide whether you like them or not. If you don’t like them, make a really empowered decision about what you’re going to do moving forward if you don’t. Life is choices. Everything you have in your life and everything you don’t have in your life, you’re choosing it. Everything you don’t have and wish you did, you’re choosing that too. Everything that you have that you don’t like, you’re choosing that too. Is this an uncomfortable truth? Yeah, probably, at least at first, but when you own that you’ve created your current results through the choices that you’ve made, here’s what happens.

First and foremost, you stop feeling helpless because you take ownership of your life, of your results, over the part that you’ve played in creating them, and feeling in control feels better. When you own that you’ve made a choice and you keep making a choice, you get access to the question of why. Why did you make the choice you did. Why do you keep making the same choice? Why is this what you’re choosing? And when you ask yourself the question of why you get access to your reasons.

Once you know your reasons, you get to decide if you like them and if you don’t, you can choose differently moving forward. So, I want you to go through all eight of these categories on the life wheel, okay? You rated them the number that you did. If you struggled to figure out what would make each category a ten, part of the exercise that I walked you through initially. I’m going to talk about this in the next episode.

I actually find that a lot of my clients struggle with identifying and figuring out what it is that they want, what that best-case scenario looks like, if that’s you, don’t fret. I’m going to walk you through specifically how to do that. Still, for now, I just want you to go through, you rated them the number that you did, and I want you in each category to identify the choices that you’ve made that have created your current results.

If doing this for all eight of the categories on the life wheel feels overwhelming to you, just pick one to start with. Just pick one category, go through it, identify your choices, own them, and ask yourself why. Why did I choose what I did? Why do I keep choosing the way that I’m choosing, right? Identify those choices, identify your reasons, and then decide do you like them. If you don’t, I want to invite you to make a different choice moving forward.

Decide to choose differently. Life is choices, you guys. Own your choices, love your reasons for making them, and if you don’t decide to choose differently, starting right now. Alright, that is what I’ve got for you for episode one. I will see you guys in the next episode.

Oh, one more thing, if you enjoyed today’s show and don’t want to worry about missing an episode, be sure to follow the show wherever you listen to podcasts. If you haven’t already, I’d really appreciate it if you’d leave a rating and review to let me know what you think about The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast.

It doesn’t have to be a five-star review. Although, I really hope you love the show. I really want your honest feedback, so I can create an amazing podcast that provides you with a ton of value. Visit thelessstressedlawyer.com/podcastlaunch for step-by-step instructions on how to follow, rate, and review the podcast. I’ll talk to you guys soon.

Thanks for listening to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast. If you want more info about Olivia Vizachero or the show’s notes or resources from today’s episode, visit thelessstressedlawyer.com.

Enjoy the Show?

Introducing The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast with Olivia Vizachero

Welcome to The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast!

Are you tired of constantly feeling like you’re getting crushed by deadlines and no matter how many all nighters you pull you just can’t get ahead of yourself? The truth is you can’t hustle your way to happiness. If you want to feel better, you have to learn how to manage your thoughts and your mind. And in this podcast, we’ll show you how. 

The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast is the go to resource for lawyers who want to stop feeling overworked and overwhelmed and want to live a more fulfilling life.

Join me each week as I share the exact steps you need to manage the stress that comes with being a lawyer and finally feel like you are in control of your life.

If you enjoyed today’s show, I would really appreciate it if you would leave a rating and review to let me know and help others find The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast. 

 

Not sure how? Keep reading step-by-step instructions.

Listen to the first episodes:

  • Ep #1: Life is Choices – Your life is a product of the choices you’ve made and continue to make every day. If you want to transform your life into one you love, the first step is taking responsibility for these decisions. And that’s exactly what we’re doing in this first episode of The Less Stressed Lawyer.
  • Ep #2: Creating a Life You’re Obsessed With: Making the Plan – Once you know what you don’t want, you have to decide what exactly it is you want for your future. Knowing what you want is truly the only way to start creating a life you love, so in this episode, I’m helping you figure out what would make each area of your life a 10/10, so you have something to work towards.
  • Ep #3: Creating a Life You’re Obsessed With: Taking Action -Tune in this week to discover how to start taking action toward creating a life you’re obsessed with. I’m sharing the next three steps in the process, so you can create more positive thought and emotion where possible, and I’m showing you how to cultivate the ability to take action regardless of the discomfort involved when these feelings persist.

Here’s what you should do right now to sign up for your weekly dose of The Less Stressed Lawyer Podcast:

1. Follow on Apple Podcasts

To follow on Apple Podcasts, visit The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast page and click on the “Listen on Apple Podcasts” button. (Note: If you’re on a PC or Android, you can download the iTunes app and leave a review there!)

This will launch Apple Podcasts and bring up the podcast. Click on the “Follow” button and you’re all set!

You can also listen to the podcast via Spotify, Google Podcasts , or wherever you get your podcasts.

2. Rate and Review the podcast

Once you’ve listened to an episode or two, tap the stars and click on the “Write a Review” link on the The Less Stressed Lawyer podcast page in Apple Podcasts to leave a review. I want you to be honest, tell me what you think, and how I can make the podcast even more helpful… Make sure you hit “Send!”